New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man , they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the ass hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge ass hole.

For all of the hoopla and tracking of the Bush administrations wheelings and dealings vís a vís Oil-Gate and Iraq, the ongoing debacle of the response to hurricane Katrina and numerous other happenings that have been perpetrated on the American (and world) people - I am utterly astounded that there isn't a more furious design to purge the executive branch of our government from their nefarious graspings.

Here's an article that echoes that sentiment. It is short, to the point, and well-worth the read:

Robert Dreyfuss

With Iraq perched at the very precipice of an ethnic and sectarian holocaust, the utter failure of the Bush administration’s policy is revealed with starkest clarity. Iraq may or may not fall into the abyss in the next few days and weeks, but what is no longer in doubt is who is to blame: If Iraq is engulfed in civil war then Americans, Iraqis and the international community must hold President Bush and Vice President Cheney responsible for the destruction of Iraq.
[...]

A fellow Olympian had an interesting incounter with one WSP officer earlier this month. It seems the WSP can make up stuff pretty much whenever they want. From Ben's website:

On Saturday, February 11, 2006 at approximately 5:20 p.m., my wife and I were walking along the road in Heritage Park underneath the state capitol building, heading to the foot path that leads up to the capitol. A state patrol car drove up from behind and pulled beside us with the pasenger window down. The officer inside said that he would prefer it if we walk on the gravel trail beside the lake because they use that road.

A simple question

A bit amazed, I asked if that was a requirement, if there was a law or rule behind that (his "I would prefer" language made us doubt that this was a legal requirement). He replied that there is a sign "back there" and reiterated that "they" use the road. I asked him again if that was really a requirement, if there was a law or rule to that effect, and Lisa asked this as well. The officer responded, "I guess a warning's just not good enough for you," and got out of the car rather abruptly. As he walked behind the car toward us, I said that I jog this road all the time and have never heard this before. He asked if I had ID on me and I said yes. He demanded that I show him my ID. I felt I wasn't required by law to show him my ID but he was rather agitated and this situation already seemed way out of hand, so I did not question him and complied, providing him my Washington State ID.

Read the whole thing. Anyone got any 411 on an officer R.J. Woods? Seems like he's got an anger control problem.

According to our Neo-Nazi friends the National Socialist Movement, yours truly is a mentally defective leftist from Olympia, ringleader of a sickening group, a very evil woman and total traitor to the white race. I am also supposedly a commie whore and a "winch".

"Winch" I'll accept, sounds like a handy thing to be, slap a military title in front and you've got me: Major Winch. Now I just need a uniform, lots of medals, and a lovely pair of boots.

What's your name, rank, and serial number?

Here is what my fevered brain has invented so far:

When they shout Sieg Heil!......we have many choices including:

Gomer Pyle! Nail File! In Style! Dog Pile! Mister Kyle! Stomach Bile! Radio Dial! (In honor of F.R.O.) One Mile! De - nial! Square Tile! So Vile!

Instead of their White Power!...... Red Flower! So Sour! Brick Tower! Wheat Flour! One Hour!