Hack Hack Cut: For reasons too obscure to explain here, a crazy man decides to cut off his toes. (Gimmie Comics 1 (1973))

Haiku!: See Coo Coo! Haiku! Sez You! City Zoo! Dien Bein Phu!

Harrr!:
See Arrr! Harrr!
See Hrrrgh! Nrrrgh! Rrrrgh! Harrr! Arrr! Grrr

Hit: See Push! Grab! Bash Hit Rip Shred Smash Crash Fight

Honk!:
(1) The sound of a Morty Dog's nose being squeezed as he sits in a radioactive isolation chamber and a scientist uses a long artificial arm to test Morty's reflexes. (Big Picture Picture Book (1983))
(2) The sound of a Morty Dog's nose being squeezed as a form of greeting by his pal Arnie Wormwood, who happens to be incredibly inebriated. (Cranium Frenzy 5 (1985))
See also: Skritch Scratch, Skritch Scratch Honk! Skritch Scratch Clunk! Yap Yap Yap Yap Kick! Glug Gabug Glug Gabug

Honk! Honk! Honk!: A Morty Dog honking behind the wheel of a station wagon and yelling, "Outta my way, ya peckerheads!" at some terrorists, who have mistaken the mutt as their transport. (Cranium Frenzy 1 (1981))

Hop!: A Morty Dog jumps over a deep trench hoping the group of 60 ft. tall men chasing him will fall in it. And they do, shouting YAA! HEY! YOW!(Cartoon Loonacy 1 (1983))

Hop! Plop: A very flattened Morty Dog, preparing to gain access to an electric typewriter in order to rewrite the script, jumps onto a stool belonging to his cartoon creator. (Big Mouth 3 (1993))

Hrrgh! Nnrgh! Grrrr: Two hardcore football fans, one from Nebraska and the other from Washington State, do battle on a snow covered roof. (Elephant 3 (1986))

Hrrrgh! Nrrrgh! Rrrrgh! Harrr! Arrr! Grrr: Sounds made by students going for their Masters in Librarianship who were also "drop-outs from other grad programs. These people had learned the rigors of graduate education the hard way. This time they were determined to finish!" (Gosky Comics (1986))

Ga-Na!: See Gnaw! Ga-Naw! Ga-Na! Whamp!

Ga-naw:
See Chew Chomp Chew Chomp Chew Gnaw Ga-naw
See Gnaw! Ga-Naw! Ga-Na! Whamp!

Ga-Naw Ga-Naw: See Gnaw Ga-Naw Ga-Naw Arrr Grrr Rrrrip! Who-o-o-ooosh!

Gaarr!: See Bra-ap-a-brap-akaka! Gaarr! Arrr! Yaaar!

Gabug: See Skritch Scratch, Skritch Scratch Honk! Skritch Scratch Clunk! Yap Yap Yap Yap Kick! Glug Gabug Glug Gabug

Gag!: See Swoop! Swoop! Choke! Gag! Skuttle Skretch Skratch

Gak!:
See Bop! Gak!
See Zip! Zoop! Plop! Sniff Sniff Gak!

Garrr!: See Flop! Thud! Thunk! Crack! Arrr! Garrr! Yarr! Arrrr! Yarrrg! Skreee Arrrr! Grrr! Yaarrr! Pfffftt! Slam! Whap Whap Whap Whap

Gasp!:
See Aargh! Gasp! Bam! Spit! Punch!
See Pant! Gasp! Puff! Pant! Puff! Pant! Sweat! Sweat!

Gleam! Emanate! Project!: Sound effects accompanying a public relations man. (Cranium Frenzy 5 (1985))

Gloop!:
See Bloop! Ploop! Gloop!
See Poink Zip! Gloop!

Gloop! Bloop!: A variation of: Bloop! Ploop! Gloop!

Glug!:
(1) A man stays in a sad bath for much too long and eventually goes down the drain (Glug!) (Dog Boy 7 (1986))
(2) The sound of very thick coffee being poured from a coffee pot. (Morty Without Tears; and, Planet of the Bobs (1989))
See also: Zip! Slice Glug! Glug! Glurg!
See also: Skritch Scratch, Skritch Scratch Honk! Skritch Scratch Clunk! Yap Yap Yap Yap Kick! Glug Gabug Glug Gabug

Waaaa! Waaaaaaaaaa!: News item, babies are now branded with their Social Security numbers at birth. (One Way Flight to Anywhere But Here (1977))

Waaaaaaaaaa!: See Waaaa! Waaaaaaaaaa!

Whack!: A mysterious hand reaches for the cartoonist's nose, but the cartoonist whacks it away saying, "No! Not yet!" (How Two Ex-Presidents Went Up My Nose (1994))

Whak! Whak!: See Whoosh! Crreak! Zing! Whak! Whak!

Whakka Whakka Whakka Whakka Whakka Whakka: The sound made by a cat shredding and unrolling several feet of toilet paper. (Natural Functions (1986))

Wham!:
(1) "Back in the forward time, folks grew taller by one foot with each year of life. When the very old 'passed on,' they crashed to the ground like falling timber." (Cartoon Loonacy 1 (1984))
(2) Prince Morty storms into the Queen's room, opening the door with such force it WHAMs against the wall. (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 3 (1984))
See also: Toss! Wham! Splat! R-r-rip!

Wham Bam!: The rabble pound on the doors of the King's castle. (Tragedy of Morty, prince of Denmarke 4 (1984))

Wham Bam Bam!: In a world filled with mostly children, inmates in a prison pound the cafeteria tables demanding "Can-dy! Can-dy! CAN-DY! CAN-DY!" (Dogtown Zoo (1982))

Wham Wham Wham: Angry Sasquatches attempting to batter down the door of a cabin filled with prospectors, Mt. St. Helens, 1924. (Sasquatch Comix 3 (1983))

Whamp!: See Gnaw! Ga-Naw! Ga-Na! Whamp!

Whang!: See Zip! Boing Oing-Oing! Whang! Ang!

R-r-rip!:
See Toss! Wham! Splat! R-r-rip!
See Yank! Twirl Twirl R-r-rip! Snap Zip Bonk!

Ra Pum Pa Pum Pum: The three weird sisters hear "A drum! A drum! MacMorty doth come!" (Cryogenic Comix 18 (1998))

Rat-a-tat-tat: See Brap Bra-ap Rat-a-tat-tat Pow Pow Pow

Rattle!: See Eeee Blunk! Eeeeeeee Rattle! Detour! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Rattle! Rattle!: Kane Abelmann, a custodian in a nuclear missile silo, discovers he is trapped alone inside the silo and tries the door handle to no avail. (Storm Warnings (1986))

Rend! Shred! Spindle!: The propellers on the planes of the Toaster Ghost Air Patrol make short work of Mukey the Mutant Membrane, who was unfortunate enough to be floating right in their path. (Cranium Frenzy 6 (1990))

Rev Rev Rev!: A lawn mower, tired of being trapped in a garage with Snoodle B. Clapsaddle, who is suspended above the floor due to having his head glued to the ceiling, is impatient with Snoodle's whining.
Snoodle: "Life was so hard for me in the outside world!"
Mower: "Aww, go tell it to the guy you see in the mirror, you miserable whineybutt! No one else cares."
Snoodle: "You don't understand! You've never left the yard!"
Mower: "Hey, I've been around the block a few times ... And I'm gettin' sick and tired of being cooped up with a weiner-head geek! Time to get the Hell outta here!" (Rev Rev Rev!)

Ri-i-ip!: Created as an unnamed character widens a tear in the wall, opening the fabric to reveal a brighter world on the other side. (Scratchez 4 (1984))

Z-z-z-zip!: See Leap! Z-z-z-zip!

Zang!: See Voop Voop Voop Voop Voop Zang! Crash! Zip! Splat!

Zang! Whoosh! Zow!: The Big G takes aims at a Morty Dog and shoots a meteor-gun at the mutt. (Cartoon Loonacy 9 (1986))

Zap!:
(1) A man is executed in an electric chair. The three panel sequence reads: "Murderers are punished by death! Soldiers are awarded for inflicting death!! Pacifists are thrown in the clink for refusing to kill!" (Cranium Frenzy 1 (1981))
(2) An informer is electrocuted in his bathtub by an unknown assailant while being interviewed by Arnie Wormwood, P.I. (Cranium Frenzy 2 (1982))
(3) Bub shoots a a ray cannon at a million little Hectors, who are re-atomized into one normal adult-sized Hector, save for one lone miniature version. (Dogtown Zoo (1982))
(4) A man in the future knocks out a Morty Dog by zapping him with some sort of electric stick. (Natural Functions (1986))
See also: Click! Zzaap! Zap
See also: Pop! Sizzle! Zap!

Zap! Zap!:
(1) Mysterious electrical rays used as a metamorphosis plot device. (Amused To No End (1986))
(2) A Morty Dog runs amok, shooting his "Morty Death-Ray Vision" at random. (Ultra Klutz 25 (1988))

Zap Zap Boot! Poof!: A middle-aged barfly suddenly vanishes (Zap) before the eyes of a young man, reappears behind him (Zap), kicks him to the floor (Boot!) as he declares, "All you needed was a cosmic kick in the butt ... Hahahahahahahahahahaha!" and then turns into a circus clown before disappearing (Poof!) (One Way Flight to Anywhere But Here (1977))

Nnrgh!: See Hrrgh! Nnrgh! Grrrr

Nrrrgh!: See Hrrrgh! Nrrrgh! Rrrrgh! Harrr! Arrr! Grrr

Nrrrrrr: Created when a man with a giant radioactive deflated cranium plummets toward Earth at a rapid rate of speed. (Big Picture Picture Book (1983))

Nudge, nudge: Made when a denizen of Hell is jabbing his elbow into the ribs of a fellow resident while making an incredibly bad pun about Dante Alighieri. (Dante's Coat (1999))

It is the first popsicle truck through our neighborhood this year. The sound of the canned tinkling Scott Joplin music is just too strange to hear on this decidedly not sunny day. Even worse, the truck has cycled through our neighborhood three times today, round and round, until we began to worry that something horrible had happened to the driver. 

The driver is fine and I do believe that most of us now have our heads under pillows, unable to withstand the sound of the cursed popsicle truck cruising round and round and round............

Scarf!: See Toss! Scarf! Chomp! Chew! Digest!

Scoot!: Made when a very flattened Morty Dog gains access to the home of his cartoon creator by working his way through the tiny opening under the door. (Big Mouth 3 (1993))

Scrape!: Darwin Corksniffer, an activist for creationism, drives his car without rubber tires, scraping along on the bare metal hubs. Little Mongo, a passenger asks, "Wouldn't it be easier with wheels, Corksniffer?" "I'm a tireless servant of God, Little Mongo," answers Darwin. (Limbolympia (1983))
See also: Wrrrr! Grind! Wrrrr! Wrrrrrr Wrrrrr Wrrrr Wrrrr Grind! Scrape! Wrrrrr

Scrape! Scrape!: The Little Tugboat That Could attempts to climb a steep railroad grade. (Fun in Acapulco (1982))

Scratch!:
See Scritch! Scratch!
See Skritch Scratch, Skritch Scratch Honk! Skritch Scratch Clunk! Yap Yap Yap Yap Kick! Glug Gabug Glug Gabug

Scratch! Scritch!: A Morty Dog scratching at the door of the Crick sisters, Grizelda and Gertie. (Cranium Frenzy 2 (1982))

Screech!:
(1) A Morty Dog being chased by government agents comes to a screeching halt when a voice off-panel declares, "Lunchtime!" This is followed by all the characters in the story taking a break and standing in line in a cafeteria making rude comments about the low quality of the plot they are fated to follow. (Cranium Frenzy 10 (2003))
(2) A Morty Dog suddenly stops when a door that originally appeared to be an exit turns out to be an entry into a bottomless pit, with a happy floating skull and crossbones greeting him. (Dog of Dawn, Dog of Dusk (1985))

Pafoom!: Amos Grumbly prevents an atomic meteor from colliding with the surface of the Earth by using his uniquely shaped head (it has a dish-like indentation) as sort of a catcher. (Dogtown Zoo (1982))

Pant! Gasp! Puff! Pant! Puff! Pant! Sweat! Sweat!: A jogger stops to talk with a slob in an easy chair. (Big Picture Picture Book (1983))

Pant! Pant!: Otto Manic catches his breath after his vast mind-powers fail to absorb a Morty Dog into his cranium. (Scratchez 8 (1986))

Pat! Pat!:
(1) Inside the Parvo Nakacheker Institute for Weapons Research, a scientist named Bert pats a fat little missile, "Gentleman, this little honey, the new Z-33, now holds the distinction of being the world's most destructive weapon!" General: "Hot damn!" Another scientist: "It's a beaut, Bert!" (Cranium Frenzy 1 (1981))
(2) The King pats Prince Morty's face as he says, "Morty, don't let yourself get all bent out of shape over your father's death. Your grief is umanly, 'tis a fault to Heaven. Think of me as your father now." (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 1 (1983))

Pchunk!: A psychopath drops an ax on the head of a man who is sort of a living statue. (Gimmie Comics 1 (1973))

Pfffft: A hitchhiker puffs on a joint. (Random Reflections (1976))

Pfffftt!: See Flop! Thud! Thunk! Crack! Arrr! Garrr! Yarr! Arrrr! Yarrrg! Skreee Arrrr! Grrr! Yaarrr! Pfffftt! Slam! Whap Whap Whap Whap

Pffft: A Morty Dog giving the raspberry to an angry guy wearing a nightcap. (Almost Complete Collected Morty Comix (1984))
See also: Grrrr. Pffft!

Pfpft!: See Sproing! Oing! Boing! Trip! Pfpft! Poompf!

Tangle!: See Screech! Snap! Tangle! Wrap! Tie! Zip! Grab!

Tap! Tap!: A man drumming his finger on the rim of a glass containing liquid at the halfway point, arguing with his friend over whether or not the glass is half empty or half full. As he does this, singing dogs are flying over his head. (Big Picture Picture Book (1983))
See also: Whump! Tap! Tap! Smack!
See also: Wink. Tap! Tap! Wink
See also: Wink Wink Tap! Tap! Wink Wink
See also: Zoop! Zoop! Zoop! Tap Tap Tap Tippity Tap Tap

Tap Tap Tap:
(1) A very flattened Morty Dog on an electric typewriter, making a new script for the story. (Big Mouth 3 (1993))
(2) A man in the future taps a stick on a refrigerator (which acted as a cryogenic chamber for a Morty Dog) to see what it is made of. (Natural Functions (1986))
See also: Zoop! Zoop! Zoop! Tap Tap Tap Tippity Tap Tap

Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap: A writer types on his typewriter night and day. (Morty Comix 1853))

Tear: See Pull! Fold Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Spindle Shred Mutilate! Shred! Tear! Rip! Mangle

Thud!:
See Bang! Thud! Bang! Thud! Jab!
See Bonk! Bonk! Bonk! Bonk! Thud!
See Flop! Thud! Thunk! Crack! Arrr! Garrr! Yarr! Arrrr! Yarrrg! Skreee Arrrr! Grrr! Yaarrr! Pfffftt! Slam! Whap Whap Whap Whap
See Pop! Thud! Ignite
See Smak! Thud Bonk!