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Submitted by Ehver Green on Fri, 04/18/2008 - 4:09pm.
We all know the limits. Enjoy... Don't read this if you are easily offended by sexual content. Too funny to pass up! A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal." "No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
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The Bet
Submitted by The Original Yoda on Fri, 04/18/2008 - 4:15pm.The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"
The old lady replied, "I make bets."
The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25000 that your balls are square."
"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"
The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25000 that my balls are not square!"
The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10 am as a witness?"
"Sure!" replied the confident president.
That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the heck's the matter with your lawyer?"
"Nothing," she answered, "Except I bet him $100000 that at 10 am today, I'd have the president of this bank's balls in my hand."
Send the Kids out of the Room
Submitted by Merwyn Haskett on Fri, 04/18/2008 - 4:36pm.A: It was pi$$ed off!
Another penguin joke
Submitted by JulieM on Fri, 04/18/2008 - 5:37pm.A police officer notices a convertible car full of penguins being driven by a man. The officer pulls the man over and says, "What are you doing? You need to take these penguins to the zoo!" The man agrees and is let go.
The next day, the police officer sees the same man with the convertible filled with penguins, although this time the penguins all have sunglasses on. The officer pulls the man over again and says, "I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!" The man replies, "I did and we had such a great time, today I'm taking them to the beach!"
love it! :)
Submitted by Chia on Sat, 04/19/2008 - 8:55pm.---------
Nonviolence Includes Animals:
audio
"PETA President Ingrid E. Newkirk's address to the International Nonviolence Conference in Bethlehem"
This sux. OK, gonna get
Submitted by Ehver Green on Sat, 04/19/2008 - 12:31am.This sux. OK, gonna get this out late Thursday to garner more participation. After that, this may become the first 'weekly' death on Olyblog. Hey, I tried. =)
Big thanks to Yoda, Merwyn, S6, Laurian and all others who gave it a go.
Sorry!
Submitted by JstPlnOnry on Sat, 04/19/2008 - 6:21pm.My kiddo is still in the hospital and I've had my 3 & 4 year old grandsons since Thursday night because their superstar football player brother has been recruited to several midwest colleges and they left Thursday on their whirlwind tour of midwest colleges! I can't wait for tomorrow night! I'm SPENT!
I'll participate in the next one! PROMISE!
"A point of view is only a view from a point..." ~ Unknown