The scientists (both of them, so that's a scientific consensus if there ever was one!) have astounded the scientific community with their recently published article (published in the respected industry magazine - Soft Drink Science Today) showing the correlation between the consumption of carbonated beverages by leftists around the globe and the buildup of carbon dioxide in the environment and the disruption of the planet's natural carbon cycle. 

Dr. Jonathon Enderusty Mouthpeace of the Perrier Institute has charged that the global soft drink industry has deliberately failed to fulfill its primary commercial function of carbon sequestration by installing a carbon release tab on the 16 ounce carbon sequestration cans and by installing a simple twist off carbon release cap on the larger plastic and glass carbon sequestration bottles.  This deliberate commercial exploitation of the critical carbon sequestration giants Croca-Cola and Plopsi-Cola has also apparently been fueled by using a syrupy, sweet fluid as the carbon sequestion medium and thereby causing not only the destruction of the environment, but also an epidemic of obesity, diabetes, and acid reflux  around the world and sticky floor surfaces in taxis and movie theaters.  Dr. Mouthpeace states in the article that is up to the World Court to decide if this malfeasance rises to the level of criminal negligence.

Pictures of empty carbon sequestration containers are shown below, note the various languages that show the global nature of this heinous activity.
 Perrier Institute and Dr. Mouthpeace have developed model legislation that will force the large industrial carbon sequestration companies to remove the carbon release tab and the the carbon release twist off cap and include a warning label on every carbon sequestration bottle and can that indicates precisely how many molecules of carbon dioxide will be released by any accidental puncture of the carbon sequestration cans and bottles.  The legislation also includes a civil fine for the intentional puncture of the carbon sequestration cans and bottles. 

Dr. Mouthpeace notes that though he is not certain where any of the money for the Perrier Institute actually comes from, that he has discovered that the sparkling water beverage marketed as Perrier Water is charged with simple nitrogen, is environmentally safe and contains trace chemicals of groundwater pollution that are all below the carcinogenic levels.  Science data sheets on the trace chemicals and the exhaustive carcinogenic studies conducted by the Perrier Institute are available in a redacted form.  Dr. Mouthpeace absolutely denies the charges that these exhaustive studies, conducted over several weeks with a number of rats and easter bunnies caught on the grounds of the Perrier Institute do not meet the rigorous standards required by the scientists who have offered to provide peer-reviewed analysis.  The Perrier Institute simply cannot share the data because of proprietary industry secrets.  Rest assured, the scientists, both of them, have long employment in the scientific study of nicotine at The Tobacco Institute. They are Men of Science. Their resumes and stock options are nonetheless too private for disclosure at this time.