...before we can properly evaluate this situation and comment on an appropriate strategy. Lots more details...

ditto...more details.

When I am feeling particularly shitty, it almost always helps me to remember to be grateful for what I have (and for what I don't!) I often find it beneficial to get out of myself - my self pity - and find ways to serve others. Working consciously to be nice, to be kind, is also a good way to avoid the blues.

Sometimes it's just natural to feel down though. Sometimes, for me, it's just the time of year, or the weather. Or some other event that is out of my control. Why get down about something over which you don't have control?

Being able to visualize success may literally be a requirement for attaining your goals.  Here're my two dimes:  if you're working toward something you genuinely believe in and you can actually sit down and imagine not only what you need to do to get there, but what you'll do upon acheivement of said goal, then don't stop until the breath is gone.

I think the majority of people feel or have felt this exact same way at some point (or points!) in their lives. It can take time to get over a disappointment so give yourself that and then when you are thinking more clearly you can evaluate what the next plan of action is. I hope you feel better about things soon! =)

If the goal you're having difficulty realizing involves the scaling of a clock tower, or passing out Kool Aid, or something along those lines, I may be for you wallowing in hopelessness and despair while never reaching your goals.

I have a mild case of Seasonal Affective Disorder, so I can totally identify with feeling down in the dumps; I have to stave off the blues from November through March, especially in this climate.  I have two remedies for mild depression and a discouraged frame of mind that work pretty well for me.  First, St. John's Wort tincture (you can buy it at Radiance or the Co-op).  Maybe it's just a placebo effect, but if I dose myself for a couple of days, my mood always improves, and I'm ready to slay dragons again. 

Second, yoga.  Yoga is such a great form of exercise, increasing strength, balance and flexibility.  Better yet, it's fun to do!  Sometimes I'll work out on the treadmill or train with weights, but I hate every minute of it.  Doing yoga feels great -- it feels like an indulgence, but unlike chocolate or beer, it's actually good for me.  Plus, the typical class is 90% female, so you will be surrounded by good-looking women in attractive, form-fitting outfits while you exercise.  I have often looked around in a yoga class and thought to myself, "Wow, if I were a heterosexual guy, this is where I would go to pick up chicks..... errr, I mean, to meet beautiful, tranquil, healthy-living women."  Of course, the average yogini is probably a little liberal for your tastes, Norm, but you know what they say about opposites attracting!

What you describe is frustration, and what you ask for is its quota... how much can you take, before you cut your losses and quit fighting your situation.

The whole time I was fighting the database / hard drive issue of which I have already written, I knew that the fight was uphill and that I was chasing an impossible task. I was using a new Operating System, which is task one: it is often a matter of weeks before one can properly use a new Operating System for one's computer. I had literally never sat down to use a Linux machine with a K desktop previously. And I had about ten minutes to figure it out.
To add to that, I was rebuilding the database in an application which I had also never used before. Adding yet more to that, I was using a copy of the original data which had obvious physical damage to a part of the data surface, so I knew the chances of getting a good read were something like my chances of growing wings... as it turned out, the attempt did not work well enough for us to make the database work in the time I needed it to make that deadline. The task failed. We had to solve the problem another way, which we did.

Yet despite this, I did my work without complaint or grumpyness simply because I was so aware of the futility. I knew that really, all I needed to do was try - just to keep my self respect when I had to tell the person it was not going to be done in time. The person who helped me do this (I should not out him, he still stings from learning I have placed another deity before him in my prayers) was actually more upset than I was. I reflected on this as the week progressed, and as other, smaller things, began to annoy me. Why had I kept my head in one impossible task, only to blow up at a slow driver / etc the next week?

I don't know how to best describe that moment of calm surrender, but I'll describe it brutally... it is the same moment that the sheep you've been aiming your rifle at simply puts its head down, and starts to ignore you again after peering at you, suspicious for the previous five minutes. (This is a long time to aim a rifle from a standing position. If you doubt me, try it.) It's the moment the chicken looks at you, relaxes, and lets you place its neck on the block. It's the prisoner sitting in the chair as his guards attach the first electrodes. It's the folks getting in line to board the cattle car. It's you, waiting in line for gasoline or groceries without complaint.

It's not as bad as it sounds - I've only described some moments when this attitide is fatal. In most situations, surrender to the futility of a situation - which is not really the same thing as stopping effort directed at solving it - actually frees your mind to see the solution you did not previously grasp. And it keeps you ready to see the exit which was hidden, as well. Some problems are not meant to be solved, or don't need to be solved right now or in the way that you think they should be solved.

Surrender is a discipline, not just an attitude. You do have to choose it, and it helps to cultivate it. And most of the time, it is not fatal. But frustration, the reaction you get when your technique is defeated by reality, is a function of trying - again and again - to use the same technique to get a different reality. And that is very often fatal. You might say that is why we're all in the boat we're in, as a species.

Gotta go drink some yeast piss now....

I appreciate all of the input folks, I really do. I'm pretty much over it at this point and just decided to take a few steps back and give some thought to what I feel is important in my life. I also took a quick break from the blog....you all are very busy posters.