I am fundamentally an anarchist, politically, socially, civilly, emotionally and spiritually. But I am the kind of anarchist who sees a little wisdom in shared anything, and pure truth in nothing. This is why I belong to no causes, including anarchy. I support causes that do what I believe in, for specific efforts. Choice. I don't break laws, usually. I would walk outside the lines at Capitol Lake, but I would do it being smiling and cute and flirtatiously. I might sob if caught and fall to my knees, tear my hair a little and bemoan all the tormented people that must look to the ground as they walk, instead of out over our nice lake. I would wail and wonder why oh why are we creating laws to inflict confusion in a confusing world. I make my points my own way. I am a civil anarchist. I complain, write, cry, try to make an individual difference with personal contributions, usually not money. I don't withhold money but my kids take most of the extra. They are my cause, their futures and their presents, not all their wants but always their needs, and their dreams. My middle son put himself through college but for a semester I wired him half my own grocery money because he was not eating well. I used our downtown Safeway and spent on myself what I had left. While I didn't eat cat food, the cat did share some of mine. It made me eat healthy to share only healthy with my cat. I still hate tuna.

I am also as anti Bush, the leader, as a human being can get, while I do not hate the man. I personally think he is deluded and grandiose and eventually he will get wiser if he can ever confront his own mistakes, but probably not in office. He is too defensive to look at what he does. He goes on the offensive and deflects blame. We all have arrogance and self-righteousness, and I don't fault him that, but his include a lot of power he can and does regularly misuse. He has transformed his own conservative party into something very big government, using a common denominator of narrow religious values in a country dedicated to broad religious freedom.

I oppose everything Bush stands for, even when I accidentally agree with him on an issue. He is leading a Christian jihad, which is a perversion of this faith, just as many Moslems feel Osama Bin Lauden is perverting their faith.

Osama Bin Lauden is another kind of very dangerous fanatic. He has a cause that he actually lives. Bush's cause is more shallow and profitable. More people will follow Osama Bin Lauden than Bush, and for longer. Osama will continue long after Bush is done with office. And he will stalk us, strike when we are not looking, for all the exploitation and meddling of our nation in the middle east. He carries a banner of hatred and the code is revenge, and revenge upon revenge. He is telling us to stand down. He has so many followers and believers that as soon as we kill one, another will arise. Near as I can tell, 9-11 was a strike at us to avenge the Gulf War and other middle east meddling to satisfy Western interests. Are we entitled? He and his followers say no. Look at Osama's followers. They derive from most of the Arab nations. They are not a nation. They are a cause and fighting us, our exploitation and meddling.

The middle east is the cradle of civilization and it is the caldron of its deepest conflicts. There are problems there that Westerners cannot begin to understand or solve. We need to treat this as a lesson in learning about ourselves and our own civilizations, and make sure we enter the middle east with no capitalistic agendas, only olive branches.

Back around the 10th century, the middle east was far more civilized than the West. They had science and medicine and the wisdom of bathing. We were the hoards of infidels, plundering as Christian fanatics because we thought we were enlightened, better. We swarmed down in crusades and largely got killed, rather like the early hoards against the Roman empire. Rome was a civilization that grew, degraded, and fell. The middle east is another. Where are we, this nation, in our evolution?

I had a very long wait at the cardiologists pending my last in a series of heart tests that indicate my future probability haha. Shall we say I am a little wondering about the divine? I picked up a bibilical archeology journal to read and I read. I read about the interpretation and symbolism of Revelations, which has always been inexplicable to me. I am a student of metaphor, not literal interpretations. Revelations was the symbolism of the fall of the Roman Empire right after the birth of Christianity. But that was Christianity, the faith, not Christianity, the religion. The threat was these loosely bound believers in one God who were willing to die and be disowned by their families to live among people who did not believe like them and show, by example. They formed families of each other across social casts and order. They had many converts too.

So why do all these Christians around us now fear Revelations in our midst? I think it is a valid fear but the demons are flawed unevolved leaders, misguided men, like Bush. He is not protecting us. He is destroying us and every shred of our belief system around an end justifies the means precept, at the price of ideals like freedom, human rights, privacy and equality. His party platform would be anathema to the early Christians who lacked the inbred flaws of formal religion. Once we decide on the articles of faith for ourselves, at that point in time, fresh, we are right. Once we start excluding and secluding others unlike us, we start to be wrong, and promote wrong, and distort individual human truth.

I oppose Bush at the level at which I oppose Bin Lauden. They are cut of the same cloth, but one believes and lives what he is doing, and the other makes it profitable for himself and those around him. Which is more dangerous? Bin Lauden has constructed an enemy that cannot be destroyed. Bush holds the most powerful weapons and refuses to quit using them.

As to my heart, it will be OK if I live right haha. The tests explained my love of guitars and guitar pickers. They compliment the multitonal sometimes discordant rhythms of my heart! You pick and I grin! I don't believe in evil people. I believe in evil acts, causes, and agendas. People are easily misguided and most of us misguide ourselves when we listen too much and do not hear the quiet voices inside us. It is why I am an anarchist but I don’t belong to an anarchist cause. I would disagree with them too. I guess that makes me a citizen that picks among the issues.