Breakfast Carnage!

Navigation

User login

Online users

Axcordion
Guglielmo
FRESH
Dylan Carlson
JMK
Burr
The Fire Inside
oldtimeydave

Support OlyBlog

OlyBlog is run by volunteers who care about Olympia. If you like what we're doing, make a donation:

OlyBlog is powered by:

Who's new

olympianwatch
mpeper
BalletArtsOlymp...
gail
soemone

Breakfast Carnage!

Submitted by stevenl on Sat, 03/17/2007 - 12:34pm.

You know those Mrs. Butterworth syrup bottles (like Tang, once glass, now plastic) that are in the shape of a matronly and kindly middle-aged woman? And the marketing campaign that has the bottle gliding and talking? Am I alone in thinking this is too weird?

Think about this. First, in order to get to the syrup, we have to unscrew the top of her cranium. How painful is that going to be for her? Then, we tip her over and empty the liquid contents of her innards through her head!!!! How repulsive and disgusting is that, I ask you?

On a morning in recent history, I was emptying Mrs. Butterworth's liquified inner organs on my stack of empty calories, and I heard her scream, "Pour me! Pour me!" It took me a minute, but then I realized she was really pleading, "Poor me! Poor me!" That was real appetite killer, let me tell you.

And then, when we are finished with her, we just throw her away. Just like that. Maybe a few of you more progressive types recycle her. But what's the difference? Either way Mrs. Butterworth the bottle person becomes merely a commodity. O these are evil days indeed. MrsB

stevenl's blog
Login or register to post comments

Mrs. Butterworth Abuse

Submitted by Robert Whitlock on Sat, 03/17/2007 - 9:19pm.

This is so sad. How can I possibly unscrew Mrs. Butterworth's cranium and empty her innards onto pancakes ever again!

Oh yeah ooops. I can't remember ever doing this before, but I'll make a point not to in the future. Thank you Steven.

In the Course of Events

Don't unscrew Mrs.

Submitted by Merwyn Haskett on Sat, 03/17/2007 - 9:55pm.

Don't unscrew Mrs. Butterworth. Rather, screw her.

Inappropriate!

Submitted by Robert Whitlock on Sat, 03/17/2007 - 11:02pm.

Merwyn, I am shocked!

Mrs. Butterworth is a married woman, after all. Even though you're probably right in that she might prefer "screwing" to"unscrewing" as defined above.

But seriously, maybe we can talk about the racial implications of Mrs. Butterworth. It is my understanding that Mrs. Butterworth is a black woman. Why didn't the makers of Mrs. Butterworth make a white woman into a household servant styled syrup bottle? Why did they choose a black model?

In the Course of Events

Neither the oh-so-reliable

Submitted by Merwyn Haskett on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 11:41am.

Neither the oh-so-reliable Wikipedia nor Pinnacle Foods' website offers much insight on the history of Mrs. Butterworth. The closest we get is that she was modeled after Butterfly McQueen sometime in the forties.

Why an African-American instead of Bridget the Irish Girl? The most obvious answer of course would be the color of the syrup, which showed through in the original glass bottles. I understand icons such as Aunt Jemima are really touchy but their mere existence doesn't have to be offensive in and of itself. At least from the 70s on (which is all I can vouch for) she didn't have a questionable accent.

I remember an episode of A Different World titled Mammy Dearest where the students were debating allowing paintings of Black Nursemaids in an exhibit. The show ended with most characters agreeing these women were positive role-models.

Mrs. Butterworth always gave

Submitted by Mike on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 7:34am.

Mrs. Butterworth always gave me the creeps. I thought it was just the weird chemistry posing as maple and butter flavors, but maybe it was something else?

Part of the economics of Mrs. Butterworth that I object to is the outsourcing of product spokesperson. Like the doughboy, this artificial person has displaced a real person who might have been the human face of this gooey fluid in a humanoid container. This is the heartlessness of the corporate bottomline. I remember the great days of the american economy where a real person, probably an american citizen, held a job as the model of a chevrolet driver who came down out of the sky to land in a chevrolet convertible and would then drive away to see the USA. That was a good job, if slightly risky.
So here we have this animated humanoid bottle of unknown provenance when instead, like OJ hurtling baggage to get to his rental car, we might have had Condaleeza Rice pouring syrup as a spokesmodel and making a decent living instead of having to end up working in the tawdry capacity she now toils.

You have to stop and think how much military mayhem was avoided when Colonel Sanders, may he rest in peace, gave up his military career and started paying attention to the business end of a chicken.

I will continue to unscrew

Submitted by OperaGirl on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 8:36am.

I will continue to unscrew Mrs. Butterworth's head and use her innards for my pancakes and waffles without guilt, Steven. So there. I'm just that kind of person.

“Tell me, what is it you plan on doing with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver

You are a cruel woman,

Submitted by stevenl on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 9:30am.

You are a cruel woman, Operagirl.

I'm with OG

Submitted by Sarah on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 3:35pm.

I refuse to feel guilty for enjoying the syrupy goodness of Mrs. Butterworth's innards. In fact, I believe we should have syrup pouring public events to symbolize our divine right to pour whenever we please.

I do hope that this initial alarmist post is not the first step in a devious plot to usurp (get it?) our freedom to pour. One has to ask, who just got a healthy check from the Alternative Spread Corporation?

Usyrup our freedom to pour

Submitted by stevenl on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 4:55pm.

Don't you mean, "freedom to pour the inner liquified inner organs of a hapless matronly woman through the top of her cranium onto a stack of pancakes or waffles just so you can enjoy a few moments of consumer bliss while poor Mrs. Butterworth is wrecked for life"? I can't help but notice both you and Operagirl would also let a poor English-speaking monkey in an iron lung just die when I posed that question. Who would think that two seemingly sweet and gentle people would harbor such a cold core in the marrow of their soul? I'm shocked! Shocked, I tell you!

What can I say? I like my

Submitted by OperaGirl on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 7:03pm.

What can I say? I like my pancakes! And I never said that I would let the monkey die...I merely said that we would be most happy to watch it. You came to the conclusion that we would eat your monkey ~ and that, my friend, is down right caiman stereotyping!

“Tell me, what is it you plan on doing with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver

Uh Huh

Submitted by Sarah on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 7:38pm.

This from the man who did that thing. Enough said.

I believe I have made up for

Submitted by stevenl on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 8:52pm.

I believe I have made up for my, er, little mistake by attempting to alert the world. Apparently to no avail in the current environment. But history (depending on the historians) will forgive me in light of my subsequent actions in fighting the caiman menace. That is, if we as a human race still survive. In the meantime, you and Operagirl still have a lot to answer for in the monkey-Mrs. Butterworth bioethical questions.

there has got to be a good joke in here somewhere

Submitted by Crenshaw Sepulveda on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 10:34am.

but I'll leave you with this, instead:

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."

"I would make it impossible for the covetous and avaricious to utterly impoverish the poor. The rich can take care of themselves."
^@^

The open head of Mrs. Butterworth (1984)

Submitted by bubba z (not verified) on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 12:04pm.

She flashes the peace sign..

Is this creepy or what? And,

Submitted by stevenl on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 4:28pm.

Is this creepy or what? And, I wonder why we never hear anything about Mr. Butterworth?

Like Seinfeld once said,

Submitted by Ehver Green on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 5:15pm.

Like Seinfeld once said, "You've got a lot to learn about pancakes." Mrs. Butterworth's? Really? It might just be the worst maple syrup around (my opinion, of course).

Yes, it so sad that even

Submitted by stevenl on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 5:51pm.

Yes, it so sad that even after sacrificing her liquified innards, Mrs. Butterworth fails to deliver quality syrup (When I lived in Vermont we would just go in the back yard and turn on the syrup tap from the tree right onto our hotcakes or waffles, or even right into our mouths if we needed extra energy. Sometimes, when fire hydrants went dry, the Burlington, Vermont Fire Dept. would tap into a tree and extinguish flames with syrup). Anyway, I'm sure all those Mrs. Butterworth bottles are starting to wonder about the futility of existence. I urge them to read The Myth of Sisyphus by my old buddy, Big Al Camus. I think that might help them cope with their lot in their ever-so-fleeting lives.

Marmite is a better alternative.

I think you may have

Submitted by Mike on Mon, 03/19/2007 - 6:47am.

I think you may have stretched the facts and tortured the truth a bit here, StevenL.

Do have anything to show that you and Albert are really buds? The rest seems reasonable but I think you hurt your own credibility with the occasional whopper.

I hesitated to post about my skepticism on the Camus claim because it seemed like OG and Sarah were pounding on StevenL and turning this into a petty personal dispute, but the truth is important. If we don't draw the line somewhere our blogging ethics are toast.

True enough

Submitted by Sarah on Mon, 03/19/2007 - 7:56am.

A line must be drawn in the oatmeal, defended consistently, and vigorously applied. Personal issues aside (dumping foul creatures in the FLOD, for instance), truth must prevail. And truth isn't always sweet or syrupy.

The only Whopper I know is at Burger King

Submitted by stevenl on Mon, 03/19/2007 - 7:01pm.

When I was just a little guy, obviously before Mr. Camus died in that car wreck, he used to tell me, "Little Stevie, always remember this: Men die. They are not happy." I'm sure he would've approved of my use of his essay as an example of how Mrs. Butterworth could improve her sorry lot in life.

Well, my apologies and

Submitted by Mike on Mon, 03/19/2007 - 8:04pm.

Well, my apologies and condolences. I had doubted you for a bit there.

Can Mrs. Butterworth's even

Submitted by OperaGirl on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 7:06pm.

Can Mrs. Butterworth's even be considered as "maple syrup"...I think it's more like sugar and chemicals in a plastic container. Yet I still like it... *bag over my head*

“Tell me, what is it you plan on doing with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver

I am from a different

Submitted by Mike on Mon, 03/19/2007 - 6:35am.

I am from a different generation - a gentler time when children were addicted to Log Cabin - a good republican syrup from the Eisenhower era that contained at least 2% real maple syrup. Is there any real maple syrup or butter in Madame Butterworth? My years of appreciating that 2% over waffles, pancakes, and french fries helped me hone the taste buds to reject MB. I draw the line at 2%. If its not 2% real, I am not behind it.

I am sure all those Mrs.

Submitted by stevenl on Tue, 03/20/2007 - 11:02pm.

I am sure all those Mrs. Butterworth containers (who have yet to be de-craniumed and yet to have all their inner liquified organs poured out for a few minutes for your carbohydrate-consuming pleasure) who are reading this are feeling very demoralized about the meaning of existence right now. Perhaps the time has come for a Mrs. Butterworth Liberation Army (MBLA) to form and capture all the unopened bottles and set them free in a land where they can roam at will and realize their potential.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

Submitted by Summerisle on Sun, 03/18/2007 - 11:42pm.

Sure, Mrs. Butterworth looks nice and safe, but that can't be said of other food characters. Incidentally, I remember getting into a certain state with a friend and watching a Mrs. Butterworth commercial, laughing about "Mrs. Butterworth is talking!". Later I looked at a Mrs. Butterworth container and, you know, it did look like it was moving....

But for confirmation of the demented nature of cartoon mascots I give you this, Example A:

This might not be the place

Submitted by stevenl on Sat, 05/26/2007 - 7:54am.

This might not be the place to mention my secret fear-- but-- Burl Ives' music always gave me the creeps. As a kid I remember he was the voice of the gliding snowman in that awful Rudolph holiday special. Like Mrs. Butterworth, animated characters who glide really bother me. To me, the songs "Holly Jolly Christmas" and "Silver and Gold" fill my brain pan with the oil of odiousness. Ives, by the way, died in Anacortes a decade ago but the chill of his music remains. It's a good thing he didn't sing jingles for Mrs. Butterworth commercials.

OlyBlog.net

OlyBlog is devoted to citizen journalism, including hyperlocal news and discussion specifically about Olympia, Washington. If you care about this community and are tired of corporate media, then this is the place for you.

If you'd like to contribute, please register for an account. Here is a list of local news beats that need to be covered. You can post your news as a personal blog entry, and it will be reviewed (and possibly edited) for promotion to the front page. Once you've established a record of responsible blogging, you can become an autonomous user. You can also send news via email. All members of OlyBlog agree to abide by our comment and fair use policies. If you are frustrated about something said in a comment thread, go here.

Now playing at: