The caiman-as-lobbyist ploy has interested us for awhile. See OlyBlog 02/07/06, "What Walks on Two Legs & Wants to Meet You?" submitted by Sarah. There is a short tunnel between the O'Brien and Cherberg buildings, and the security cameras in that undergound walkway of terror are frequently documenting grainy videos of caimans performing the "death roll" on competing lobbyists. Why has the mainstream media ignored this? Only OlyBlog has the guts to lift the lid on these sordid truths.

I am in awe of the bravery of you two men. I believe medals are in order.

I may need to hire some brave men or women to assist me with safely leaving my home, all those caimans involved in death rolls in my front yard make me dizzy.

Person #1: "What do you do for a living?"

Person #2: "I skin the nutrias for the caimans at the zoo. They really hate that tickly feeling the fur makes in their throat."

When I walked around the Fetid Lake of Doom last week I really tried to spot one of those swamp rats, but rodents saw I none.

Last March 15 I posted "Where the Potholes Are" and now I wonder if those vile reptiles are hanging out in the little spotty lake/ponds in the OHS neighborhood as a way to hide out. In fact, that post suggested there was an underground passage between Hewitt Lake and the Deschutes River! And we know for a fact that there is a cave behind Tumwater Falls (my late high school classmate Jeff Lampard actually swam there-- meanwhile his pals thought he drowned and called the Fire Dept. for help. During all this commotion, Jeff was sitting in the cave just, forgive the dated expression but it matches the era in which it happened, groovin' out).

Then there are the secret tunnels on the Capitol Campus. There is one between the House and Senate office buildings. There is at least one, maybe two or three other important tunnels, both emanating from the Leg. Building. It is not unreasonable to suppose, given the powerful "Third House" status accorded to lobbyists, with their special badges and exclusive access, that the Caiman Lobby has obtained entry to these portals.

And, of course, we can't forget the legendary steam tunnels under that place on Cooper Point (See Evergroove Trivia, pt. 1, OlyBlog 10/16/05). Or the train tunnel under 7th. And, of course, the sewer systems. Yuk.

So all these manmade and natural caves and tunnels probably connect in ways we humans have yet to discover. But the caimans are already utilizing this unknown maze for their own heinous conspiracy.

What exactly is this conspiracy? The previous advice of Crenshaw to "follow the money" is a worthy cause. It would be easy to suspect it leads to Tim Eyman, since everything he stands for boils down to greed or fear, two subjects the caimans love. But I think Tim isn't their kind of guy. He's too dumb. Since Tim has already been proven as a liar and a crook, and his political posturing during the last couple elections has not fooled the voters, his 15 minutes are over. He is useless to them at this point.

I can't prove it, but I think the answer to the hub of the current caiman activity can be found in my own OlyBlog entry "Smuggled Photo" from 2/22/06.

Once again, why the mainstream press has ignored this scoop never fails to make me shake my head with disappointment.

Yes, they are alike, in that they both leave a bad taste in the mouth and when ingested cause rashes.

I know that rumors are spreading that gnawing on caimans can gift one with marvelous hallucinations, don't trust this rumor, it was created and spread by the fetid caimans themselves.

Reminds me, just what did cause the most recent Nisqually earthquake? Was it caimans performing death rolls in unison?