I have tried very hard to avoid revealing this underground truth about Olympia, but now the story must be told. Should I die within the next 24 hours, regard my demise with many questions since I have seen fit to speak the unspeakable.

There is an obscure group house snugly fitted into the westside of Olympia. None of the neighbors know what is going on behind the walls of this 1980s-looking structure. But I know. I know only too well. And the very marrow of my soul quivers just to tell you about it.

Every in-patient and out-patient resident of this facility share the same affliction. At the back of their craniums there is a secret, hidden hinge (or in the case of more modern victims, zippers). And when the cranium is unhinged (or unzipped) the top lifts off like the hood of car. And inside, where the brain is supposed to be, is a little person sitting in a comfy chair behind an instrument panel controlling all the functions of the "host body." Sometimes this person is a ballerina, or a cowboy, or banker, whatever. It is strange. A tiny gay priest could be controlling the body of a right-wing conservative activist, or a miniature Nazi could be running the show for a Green Party official. You never know.

Anyway, if you sat in the lobby of this place, you would be amazed at the number of high-ranking elected officials and local TV news personalities who frequent this "residence" for regular checkups. I mean, really amazed. I'm talking about people at the highest levels of Washington State Federal and State government. And how, you may ask, do I know about this place?

Well, I must admit, if you unhinge my own cranium you'll find a circus clown in there. He wears a pointy hat and smokes a foul cigar. He needs a shave. He has big shoes and pom-pom buttons.

 I know all of this sounds pretty wild and far-fetched. If you don't believe me just reach around to the back of the head of an important elected official and find the latch. Then you'll see.

Just don't tell them I sent you.