For the salary of 500 dollars a week, you will become your local superhero. It will be a fairly easy, low energy job. This position will require you to wear a costume, complete with tights, cape, mask, and some giant letter or symbol on your chest. You drive around your busiest downtown streets at night in a special attention-grabbing crime fighting mobile. At roughly every hour you will be expected to jump out of the car where many people are congregated, like a line of moviegoers, and proclaim something like, "Evildoers beware! I am on the prowl tonight!"

The costume and car will be supplied by your wealthy patron. You will also be given a secret hideout. Of course your true identity will never be revealed, and unless you are a complete moron, you'll keep this little secret to yourself.

The contract terms are that you perform your crimefighting display at least once a week. Maybe twice a week on special occasions. You will never know exactly which evening you will be called, but under no circumstance can you excuse yourself. If your little beeper goes off while you are, say, having a romantic dinner at an expensive restaurant, you have to think of some lame reason to get away, "Oh, I ... er ... must have left my hamster's iron lung unplugged," or something like that. Hopefully your date is not a comic book reader and won't realize that the use of the word "er" is always a tipoff that something fishy is going on.

Also, the length of time you will be a crimefighter is not secure. It could be for one month, or one year, or even a decade. The wealthy patron wants you to generate headlines and throw fear into the hearts of criminals. Needless to say, you would not be able to list this job on your resume when you move on to another career.

So as this patron waits for your answer, what are you thinking?

Oh, right, I almost forgot. You will not be expected to engage in any actual crimefighting or apprehend any criminals, or solve any mysteries.