Letter of Apology to Wally Cuddeford and An Anonymous Woman from Nikki Miller and Holly Carter

In the past month many of you may have heard rumors that questioned the actions of Wally Cuddeford toward a woman who will remain anonymous for many reasons that will remain undisclosed. This rumor originated from us. The reasons for the original concerns are no longer important. The point is that the situation was handled in an irresponsible manner.

Instead of asking Wally or the woman what had taken place on said night, we (Holly and Nikki) took our worries elsewhere. We want to make it clear that it was not Wally’s character that is in question. We failed in our handling of this incident. What resulted was a malicious rumor about Wally’s possible sexual assault of the before mentioned woman. We apologize for the reckless acts by ourselves that led to this. We apologize for the pain, suffering, and anguish that this has caused to Wally and the anonymous woman. We

recognize that no one should have to endure the trauma of being wrongly accused of sexually violating another person.

Wally is an integral part of the Olympia organizing community.  His hard work and commitment is invaluable. It is an injustice that his reputation has been harmed by our irresponsible handling of this situation. We look forward to continuing working with Wally on social justice projects. We feel that the violation of trust that took place due to our actions has been successfully restored over the past few weeks. We are happy to have Wally as a comrade, he is a great person and an invaluable part of our community.

Love, Justice, and Solidarity

Holly and Nikki

Wally Cuddeford's follow-up to Nikki and Holly's statement:

 Recently, Nikki and Holly had concerns that I acted inapproprietly with a mutual friend on a certain night.  They shared their concerns with several people, which generated bad rumors.  Nikki, Holly and I have discussed this situation amongst ourselves, and with colleagues.  It is now clear to all parties that nothing inappropriate happened on the night in question.  Nikki and Holly have apologized for mishandling the situation, and we have patched up our friendship.
 But first, I also have a deep apology to make to both Nikki and Holly.
 When I first heard that rumors were being spread by them (NOT an accurate assessment of the situation), my first thought was "Here we go again."  A few months ago, they exposed sexist practices in the movement (now known locally as the "manarchy discussions"), and in particular, sexist practices by two local male activists.  We men were on the defensive for a long time, blaming the victims of sexism for their own perceptions, excusing our own actions by calling our organizing models "efficient" or "real-world", and dismissing the whole thing by saying "We have more important things to work on."
 Nikki and Holly both endured a lot of hardship to force the issue of sexism within the movement, and were attacked by their own allies (including myself) for this good work.  One could say they could have handled it more efficiently, but there's no doubt that they forced an important issue, and that the pain they had to go through for it was a total injustice.  Is that really how we should treat people who expose our prejudices?  Is that a way to run a progressive social movement?
 When these new accusations arose, I lumped them together with the manarchy discussion, as if this established a pattern of "ill will" or something.  Suffice to say, it was pretty heartless of me. 
 But I don't think I was alone.  Many people I spoke to drew the same unfair connections.  I think on some level, many people (including myself) never "forgave" Nikki and Holly for exposing sexism in the movement (let alone thanked them).
 I believe a few of us, on some subconcious level, saw these recent accusations as a way to finally "get" Nikki and Holly, since they couldn't be "gotten" for the manarchy discussions (since they were valid).  That doesn't mean folks support patriarchy, but even some of us "radicals" don't like boat-rockers. How can we call ourselves "progressive" or "radical" or "anti-oppression" when we actually look for excuses to get back at people for standing up for themselves, and for oppressed peoples (in tihs case, women) everywhere?
 I don't say this to be negative, but to be positive.  Nikki and Holly have always been tireless workers and assets to the movement.  They should get the props they deserve, and if this world was fair, they already would have.  Yes, they've made little mistakes, and this time, maybe even a big one.  But we all have.  To blow one person's mistake so out of proportion exposes a deep prejudice to whistle-blowers and boat-rockers that's far more important to combat than any individual quibbles, and it's a prejudice I must also deal with.
 Nikki, Holly, I appreciate your willingness to come clean about your actual mistakes.  I'm sorry for my prejudices, and pledge to recognize them when I see them in the future.  I consider this whole matter closed, and look forward to working with you two again on future endeavors.
 Love and Justice,
 -Wally Cuddeford