12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte / directed by Robert Aldrich (1964, VHS). Bette Davis, Olivia de Havilland, Joseph Cotten, Agnes Moorehead, Cecil Kellaway, Victor Buono, Bruce Dern, Mary Astor, Wesley Addy, Frank Ferguson, George Kennedy, Percy Helton, Joan Crawford (uncredited). Someone in this story says, "You just can't keep hogs away from the trough, can you?" and they might as well have been talking the amount of ham we are treated to in this movie. In 1927 a Southern belle was suspected (but not convicted) of chopping off the head and hands of her married lover. Now in 1964, solitary and crazy, resentments come to a boil as the family mansion must come down in order to make way for a road. This is sort of a mixture of Lizzie Borden/Gaslight/Diabolique. The critics panned this as being cheesey when it was first released, but I say it should be celebrated for being cheesey (hmmm, ham and cheese. I'm getting hungry). The direction isn't great, but it is good enough to prevent this film from slipping into the "B" category, and it is great fun to watch. The black and white noncolor actually enhances the production. The soundtrack is slightly soupy, although the title song really works as an important part of the tale. What is striking and unusual here is the fact this is billed as a horror film and the main characters are all mature women. Bette Davis-- what an amazing face! What an amazing actress! Olivia de Havilland is surprisingly effective as an eeeevil villainess. Agnes Moorehead was so good in her role, I was halfway through the the movie before I figured out who she was. And Mary Astor, in her final appearance on the big screen, was memorable in her all-too-brief minutes. Apparently Joan Crawford was originally cast in the de Havilland role, but dropped out due to ill health. Film historians believe the real reason was due to personality conflicts with Davis. In any event, bits of footage with Joan survived in the final print, such as the scene where she arrives by taxicab and steps out-- we get a shot of Joan from the back. Exciting, eh? Joseph Cotten is slimey as the gentleman rogue. Cecil Kellaway plays the only sane person in the story, a British journalist. In meeting with Davis he says, "You're my favorite living mystery." And in an honest reponse, as if seeking the answer herself, Davis responds, "Have you ever solved me?" Here's the real horror of the story for my fellow Boomers. 1964 was 37 years after 1927, but 2009 is 45 years after 1964. Doesn't seem possible, does it?

Saddle the Wind / directed by Robert Parrish, Jon Sturges (uncredited). (1958, DVD). Robert Taylor, Julie London, John Cassavetes, Donald Crisp, Charles McGraw. A strange Western, which is what you might expect from a Rod Serling script. This has many elements of a traditional Western: definite Good Guy/Bad guy characters, fence-loving sodbusters vs. cattlemen, Civil War vets still carrying on the fight, strangers walking into the bar, a beautiful woman who walks out of her trailer dressing room and into frontier America with perfect lipstick and hair and no cowshit stuck on her shoes. But there are a few things that set this apart from other Westerns. First off, Julie London sings the title song as part of the story. There is a reason Julie is remembered more as a singer than as an actress, and I'll leave it at that. Also, this is the story about two brothers, named Tony and Steve. Excuse me. Tony and Steve? In the Old West? I don't think so. "Steve" (Robert Taylor) is a humorless, world-weary ex-gunfighter who is "tired of digging graves." Like Shane, we spend much of the movie waiting for him to let loose and kick butt. "Tony" (John Cassavetes) is his psychopathic younger brother who worships firearms and is obsessed with being a fast draw. As "Steve" says about his sibling, "I never sat on you; I never tied you down! I only wanted one thing in my life and that was to see you rise up. You only got up as high as your gun belt. And that's a low height for a man." This is a good, sturdy Western and I was surprised by the ending. But something about it seemed unintentionally incomplete and unresolved. With a little more retooling this could've been a classic instead of a forgotten film which is, let's face it, what it is. Nice soundtrack by Elmer Bernstein. The beautiful surrounding landscape somehow seemed squandered in most shots.

Jail Bait / directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr. (1954, VHS off-air). Lyle Talbot, Dolores Fuller, Herbert Rawlinson, Steve Reeves, Clancy Malone, Timothy Farrell, Theodora Thurman, Mona McKinnon, Don Nagel, Henry Bederski (uncredited), Conrad Brooks (uncredited). Leave it to Ed Wood to entice an audience with a title suggesting sex, but the actual "Jail Bait" in the story is having possession of a firearm when you are a proven nutcase. How coincidental to view this right after Saddle the Wind, another nut-with-a-gun story. And how perceptive of Wood to equate sexual pleasure with the discharge of firearms. He really was a genius. Make fun of him all you want but I have become a Woodian. Surrender. It-is-so-peaceful. This is probably the best Ed Wood movie I've seen in terms of traditional cinema grading standards. The story is coherent and moves along at a good pace. The soundtrack, which appears to be an attempt to mimic The Third Man, is appropriate to the action. And the ending is original. And I mean that in a good way. Of course, there are the usual Ed Wood hallmarks: atrocious acting, badly framed shots, and weird dialogue ("This afternoon we had a long telephone conversation earlier in the day.") But compared to Ed's other efforts, Jail Bait is a grade B rather than a grade Z. Herbert Rawlinson gives one of the most amazing double-takes ever captured on film. I want a tape-loop of it. He died the day after filming. What a way to go. And while Rawlinson ended his career, Steve Reeves had to start somewhere. So it goes.

The Heckling Hare / directed by Tex Avery (1941, DVD). Tex Avery, Mel Blanc (uncredited voices). Bugs Bunny matches wits against a hunting dog. Here we see Bugs the trickster, drawn in a classic cartoon style. The bunny seems more maniacal, like early Daffy Duck, than the cool character we later got used to. Apparently Avery had a creative difference with the powers-that-be in the production of this particular cartoon, and he walked off the Warner brothers set, never to return. An abrupt divorce by a cartoonist who had so much to do with the creation of Bugs.

"Scott of the Antarctic" (Monty Python's Flying Circus ; v. 11, episode 23) / directed by Ian MacNaughton (1970, VHS). Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Carol Cleveland. French existential movie, Scott of the Antarctic, Scott of the Sahara, Dancing teeth, Fish license for a pet halibut named Eric, Looney sports events, 16 ton weight. A few comments on this episode: It includes a 20 ft. high penguin with long green electric tentacles. Now that is one frightening sight! As we all know, penguins are evil. Eric Idle performs an OK American accent in the role of a film director. Although many of Python's skits have worked their way into our collective unconsciousness, the Fish License sketch is one gem poking fun at bureaucracy that has seems to have been overlooked. While watching this the thought crosses my mind Michael Palin was probably the best of the Pythons at performing a function that is very important but almost always passed over in being recognized-- that of performing the role of a straight man.

The Night Stalker / directed by John Llewellyn Moxey (1972, VHS). Darren McGavin, Carol Lynley, Simon Oakland, Ralph Meeker, Claude Akins, Charles McGraw, Kent Smith, Elisha Cook Jr., Barry Atwater. I saw this when it first aired as a made-for-TV movie, and perhaps I was expecting too much since it wasn't as good as I recall when I viewed it again over 3 decades later. My fellow Spokane-native McGavin starred in two TV pilot movies (this being the first) in the role of Carl Kolchak, journalist who covers the bizarre and supernatural. This concept and character later became a short-lived but very fun primetime series. At the time when this originally aired in 1972, the sexism exhibited in the script went over most of our heads. But today it is obnoxious. Here's the premise, a vampire is running loose in Las Vegas, targeting attractive young women. Kolchak is the first person to put the pieces together, but the status quo types play hardball and squash his attempts to practice free journalism as it might be bad for local business. This press censorship is more horrifying than the vampire, quite frankly. There are a lot of guys planning strategy with their neckties untied. Elisha Cook Jr. adds a certain horror genre authenticity. Simon Oakland as the editor and Claude Akins as the cop are too much alike and we start confusing them with each other. The showdown between Kolchak and the vampire is wordless and very well done considering the genre and the time period. The soundtrack is typical made-for-TV suspense fare. I watched this with a comrade Boomer, and she said "The suspense part is too long" Me: "Well, our attention spans were longer back then." She: "Yeah, because of all the Fritos we ate, they increased our tolerance to bad TV." OK. Maybe she's right. It makes sense in a strange way. Who am I to doubt that wisdom?

"Beyond a Joke" (Red Dwarf) / directed by Ed Bye (1997, VHS off-air). Craig Charles, Danny John-Jules, Robert Llewellyn, Chloë Annett, Don Henderson, Vicky Ogden. A tale of redemption. Kryten connects with Able, another android from his manufacture series but he is hooked into a life of substance abuse. Able puts the crew into peril, yet redeems himself. The "nega-drive" concept presented here is something I can see in some of the people around me. With Lister's help, Kryten learns he has evolved from his cruel creator's vision, that he is indeed "beyond a joke." Kryten and Kochanski play tug of war with Lister, resulting in a bizarre showdown in the "Pride and Prejudice" reality suite game. All in all, a very disjointed and pizza-like episode.

Doctor Who Then & Now (1987, VHS off-air). Verity Lambert, Patrick Troughton, Terry Nation, Carole Ann Ford, Bonnie Langford, Sylvester McCoy. A low-production documentary covering the history and future of a television institution in the United Kingdom. This program was also designed to introduce Sylvester McCoy as the next actor to star in the Dr. Who series, but my tape ran out before he appeared. You don't have to be a follower of the Doctor (which I'm not) in order to enjoy the interviews. I found scriptwriter Terry Nation (father of the Daleks) and actor Patrick Troughton to be thoughtful professionals, and their approach to the craft and art of television storytelling was insightful. The most humorous part of this broadcast included fanboys, well, young men mostly, well, young probably sad and lonely men who were dressed up as various characters from Doctor Who seriously asking trivia questions for Terry Nation. Mr. Nation, who is obviously used to this sort of thing, never batted an eye and answered each query graciously. Had I grown up in the UK I would've been just the right age to catch the first Doctor, William Hartnell.

The Shawshank Redemption / directed by Frank Darabont (1994, VHS). Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown, James Whitmore, Jeffrey DeMunn, Mark Rolston. When a man spends almost 20 years in prison (1947-1966) for a crime he didn't commit, he has to make a decision: "I guess it comes down to a simple choice. Get busy living or get busy dying." Although there is a strong element of revenge being a dish best served cold, this is really more about keeping the spark of hope and humanity alive in a setting where humiliation and dehumanization are the core methods of "rehabilitation" in this institutional culture. I'm a little astonished that such an amazing movie could be based on a Stephen King novel without relying on any supernatural gimmicks. Darabont's use of color, or rather lack of it, effectively sets the tone. The change of pinup girls from Hayworth to Monroe to Welch was a creative way to show the audience the passage and place of time. Robbins and Freeman were both the right guys for their roles, I think the latter gentleman was born to be a movie actor. Although I'm normally not a big fan of narration in films, Freeman is able to get away with it here. Naturally I enjoy the fact the prison library is shown as something worth fighting for-- a beacon of light in a grey world. Supporting actors Whitmore as the prison library guardian and Gunton as the chilling Bible-thumping corrupt warden were sobering as spinoff products of a screwed up system.

"The Bruce-Partington Plans" (The Return of Sherlock Holmes) / directed by John Gorrie (1988, VHS off-air). Jeremy Brett, Edward Hardwicke, Charles Gray, Denis Lill, Jonathan Newth. Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock's smarter but less energetic brother, enlists his sibling in an effort to locate missing secret submarine plans. This is a well-directed, good solid workmanlike episode where we join Dr. Watson in having a front row seat watching how the Great Detective takes the same clues we see but comes to a more original conclusion. Most of the action unfolds in the dark and foggy urban setting of London, it has the closed-in feel of winter. Once again Holmes and Watson resort to breaking, entering, and burglary in order to solve a case, and in this instance national security is cited as the justification. Needless to say, I'm sure this part of the plot must bring mixed reactions from American viewers who have concerns about recent policy decisions like the "Patriot" Act. Although Charles Gray was not allowed to upstage Brett in this production as he threatened to do in others, the soundtrack at times seemed invasive. Even so, Brett is in great form here-- sharp, predatory, and with spark.

Flat Foot Stooges / directed by Charley Chase (1938, VHS). Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Dick Curtis, Chester Conklin. The Stooges are firemen, working for a Chief who sees nothing wrong with continuing to use a horse-drawn steam-powered fire engine in 1938. This Stooge installment is a little different than the others. Two people associated with it, director Chase and supporting actor Conklin, had considerable experience in silent film comedy. Maybe this is why Chase didn't employ the humor enhancing sound effects to the degree Stooge fans have come to expect when violence takes place. And speaking of that, the mayhem count in this title is negligible compared to other works by this comedy trio: 10 head konks, 6 face slaps, and one each of a shin kick, hair pull, and eye poke. In most Stooge shorts, this is just getting warmed up. You could almost turn off the sound and insert caption cards, as much of the humor relies on visual gags. I particularly liked the duck who laid an exploding egg. One really weird and polar shifting moment comes when Larry exclaims, "I'm a victim of circumstance!" We all love Larry, but that line was never meant to be uttered by anyone other than Curly.

A Grand Day Out / directed by Nick Park (1989, VHS). Peter Sallis (voice). Wallace and Gromit's plans for a holiday coincide with their realization they are out of cheese, so they decide to build a rocket and fly to the Moon to stock up. The technical production on this claymation work is outstanding. Sallis has a voice that perfectly suits the oblivious character of dotty inventor Wallace. Gromit, the silent but smarter-than-humans junior partner dog, conveys most of his comments through his eyes. As any good cartoonist knows, the eyebrows are where expressions start, and Nick Park has the touch. On the Moon the duo encounter a being that appears to be a cross between a kitchen oven and a Dalek.