This is cross posted from my "real" blog (Olyblog is like a "mistress blog"!) but I thought some might be able to relate...

Clutter. The constant battle. I feel like I am pretty good at keeping up with the "stuff". I try to limit what enters the house and also do regular purges of the kiddie toys since that can get way out of hand due in part to very generous and doting relatives! So I consider my house to be fairly "clutter free" yet it still seems like we have so much STUFF. Too much stuff. I was flipping through the channels yesterday while Judge Judy was at a commercial break and paused on the Oprah show. There was a man talking about two different kinds of clutter and as I listened I had an "aha!" moment! "Memory clutter" and "But I might need/use it someday clutter". That is where a big chunk of my problem is.

I am notorious for keeping things "just in case". I haven't used *insert item of choice here* in years but someday I could suddenly need it. Of course when that day comes I probably won't even remember I have it or WHERE I have it so what use is it anyway? Now, I have had some positive things come out of this habit...Trevor's old train table that I insisted we keep made an excellent (and free!) Christmas present for Owen this year. And an old wire shelf that I made Terry store for me in the garage saved money once again when I needed shelves to organize my fabric stash. I also try to keep decorative stuff to a minimum...a balance between completely bare and over crowded...and I keep a storage box where I put things that I want a break from looking at and can bring out some different well loved items to put in their place. So these are the good things but what about the many boxes in my closet that I have NO idea what is in them? How is that stuff doing me any good other than take up space? Or the endless amounts of clothes that I have waiting until I "fit in them better". The neat stacks of papers that are "important" yet I couldn't tell you the last time I even looked at them much less used them! In my hall closet are carefully folded linens that I never use (nor do I even like that much which is probably why they are never used!) yet I still hang on to them "just in case".

Memory clutter. This is the hardest for me. I can't bear to throw things away that have a good memory associated with them. But what good are my grandmother's hand sewn pillows doing packed away in a trunk in layers of tissue paper? How does that bring any honor to her memory by keeping them in the back of a closet? Now obviously the pillows have an easy solution...unpack them and put them on the bed. But what about my first communion dress and my flower girl dress that my mother made for me? What about the old prom dress of my grandma's? My porcelain doll collection. I guess that there are just some things that I am going to pack away and keep forever no matter what and I am okay with that. On the flip side, I also need to be okay with not keeping every single piece of artwork my kids bring to me. I can let go of cards that are sent to me (another stack in the closet!). I can probably get rid of the little pink plastic tub that they sent home with Trevor from when he was born at St. Pete's. Or my favorite, the huge bin of maternity clothes and baby girl clothes that are in the closet! I don't even want more kids (and currently have both boys) so why the heck do I have such a hard time getting rid of them?

One more category that I need to work on. Letting "stuff" control how I feel. For example...how many pairs of pajamas do I need? How many pairs of underwear? I am embarrassed to even say how many of each that I own but I will. At last count I had about 20 pairs of pj pants, about the same of shirts and tank tops (just for sleeping in) and about 75 pair of panties. And I've bought more since. Horrible isn't it. I am well aware of how ridiculous it is yet I don't stop. I really enjoy shopping. It's a quick "pick me up" and I let it have power over me. I have gotten a LOT better over the years. A LOT. I can do even better. I know what triggers me to want to spend money on what is basically crap I don't even need. Boredom. Lack of friends. Feeling isolated during the cold/rainy months. Having a bad day and feeling like an inadequate mother and wife. I suppose the easy answer is replace the old habit with a new one but shopping is like an old comforting friend to me which is super hard to let go of. I just need to find that balance. My life quest it seems...seeking balance. I'll keep working on it. I would love it if any of you wanted to share your thoughts on what I've written as well. =)