When I entered the clinic, I knew I was in trouble when I saw the staff saw off the limb of a patient and count the rings on the remaining trunk to determine their client's real age.

Calm down. Calm down. I'm just sayin' ...

So my malady required what they called a "Super Booster Shot." The equipment consisted of an enormous hypo, perhaps 4 feet long, resting horizontally on a wheeled metal cart about at waist level. Two nurses were either side of this enormous needle and with a running start of 20 feet or so, pushed the needle at my midsection. Needless to say (notice how the words "needless" and "needles" are almost the same?), when the sword-like hypo pierced my torso it was quite painful. Yes, it went clear through me, the point poking out of my back.

But, to add insult to injury, the force of the cart carried me a few extra feet and came a thudding stop when it thunked into the wall, pinning me like a captured butterfly on display. In fact, my feet were suspended a few inches off the floor. But the worst was yet to come.

The nurses were joined by other medical staff. They took my head and shoved it down, making my body spin rapidly like a game show wheel. Apparently, there were a series of numbers in a circle on the wall behind me, as the medical folks were all laying down bets.

I'm sure there are many others out there who have experienced this sort of treatment, and like me, have suffered in silence. Until now.