User login

Who's online

There are currently 1 user and 32 guests online.

Online users

  • The Fire Inside

Support OlyBlog

OlyBlog is run by volunteers who care about Olympia. If you like what we're doing, make a donation:

OlyBlog is powered by:

Who's new

  • systematist
  • itsthewater
  • tsunamizombie
  • Brooks
  • Teresa Marie Staal

Poster Calendar

July

    Creative Commons License
 
Submitted by Rob Richards on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 12:51am.

Dear Cary,

I am a 20-year-old who is attending college full time. I am also an atheist. The problem is, no one knows and I feel like I cannot tell anyone.

For one thing, I attend a Christian-affiliated school that in order to attend I was required to sign a statement of faith. I knew I didn't believe in a god (or specifically, their God) when I signed it, but I did anyway just so there wouldn't be any hassle with the college -- I'm a transfer student and I just want to finish my degree as soon as possible. If I began actually being honest, however, I have a feeling the school would dismiss me.

The other thing preventing me from "coming out" is the number of relationships that seem like they would crumble as a result. My parents and I have never had the best relationship. We've just recently started becoming close, and I don't want to lose that. They are deeply religious, however, and my admitting to be an atheist might tear that fragile bond apart. This past summer I tried having some conversations with them about my changing religious beliefs, and I've never before seen them so angry. While I do not need their approval (there is no way I would claim a belief out of guilt), I also do not need to be alienated from my parents. Then there is all of my friends, who are mostly Christians. They all think I believe likewise, and I haven't really done anything to prevent the thought. I'm afraid that telling the truth about who I am might place a huge distance between me and the ones I love.

I'm really tired of lying and I just want people to know me for who I am. But would announcing my atheism do more damage than good? Should I just remain as I am until I graduate and am out on my own? Or should I be bold and be honest and hope it all works out for the best?

Sincerely,
Atheist in Hiding

»

My wife has a wood sign on

My wife has a wood sign on our wall in the living room and it makes quite a bit of sense.

 Be Truthful

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything!

- Mark Twain

I can only imagine the number of lies this has spawned.  It is only going to get worse.  Would you rather your friends and family discover the real you when you slip up or when you sit them down to tell them who you are?

»

What's to announce

she should just start being herself. People will catch on.
»

I think that's the best

I think that's the best advice.

As for her parents, she can't now or ever control how they think. If they're going to be outraged and shun her she really can't do a thing about it, other than to use lies and deception to prevent it. She needs to think about what she's really protecting.

Same with her friends. She'll find out soon enough which ones are true friends and which ones aren't. To be fair she'll need to make allowances for having deceived them in the first place, and give them time for that first initial shock. Again, she can't ever change how they think. In fact, the goal isn't to change what they think about God, it's to hope that they remember Christian acceptance.

Finally, lying to get into the school. Is it a prestigious school? Can the degree be earned elsewhere? Perhaps switching schools far away from the sphere of influence would be good for allowing her space to become herself.

If switching schools isn't an option, then keep the lie going until you have the degree, a declaration of faith was signed afterall.

Damn the United States! I wish I may never hear of the United States again!
Philip Nolan, the man without a country

»

Everyone is different but I

Everyone is different but I would need to reveal the deception in person, face-to-face.

»

thinking of others first is always the correct answer.

if this person didn't want to hurt anyone or go through the whole drama of coming out. Then they shouldn't. I know people should be who they are, but his(her?) parents are just being who they are if they freak out on their child. What a tough place to be in, glad my parents didn't freak when I told them I wasn't a Christian, (although I still hold strong spiritual beliefs.)

Maybe this is opening a can of worms, but doesn't complete ahtiesm seem unscientific? With all the mysteries of quantum mechanics, string theory, the seemingly perfect balanced cycles on the earth/solar system....couldn't you call those forces god?

I mean...evolution is a religious idea, and anyone who argues that should do a little more homework. No one has ever seen a creature evolve...that makes it an issue of faith(plus the complete lack of transitionary creatures in the fossil records). Lets pretend though that life is this giant "accident" and that human beings have no purpose on this planet. Wouldn't it take billions of circumstances lining up to allow something as phenomonal and unreproduce-able as evolution? For instance, the precise distance the earth is from the sun, the amount of water, oxygen, temperature etc etc etc...couldn't you call all those factors lining up "god" ??

We've moved into this postmodern era, and no one believes only christians have it right on this whole god thing.

Maybe I'm doing a straw man arguement here...in fact i know I am, because attacking evolution is a lot easier than challenging athiesm.

There are to many archealogical discoveries that have been supressed by the scietific community because they do not fit in with what the current theorys are. such as, pyramids off the coast of japan http://www.cyberspaceorbit.com/phikent/japan/japan.html

How about a prehistoric nuclear reactor found in the gabon republic of africa? http://www.pureinsight.org/pi/index.php?news=960

i could go on for days, let me share a few more..

3 billion year old spheres found in africa

http://community-2.webtv.net/WF11/3BillionYearOld/

 

12,000 year old stones from alleged alien spaceship crash http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dropa

i'm gonna start a new blog about this maybe...and we can fling mud at eachother...

»

I'm

hijacking my own thread here and maybe this should be on a different blog, but I have to disagree, no, not just disagree, I have to tell you that you're wrong. No one single person has seen a species evolve because evolution takes time, but humans have tracked evolution. It's not something that just came out of thin air. It's proven fact. No faith needed.

Oh, and atheism has got nothing to do with any of the things you've mentioned and to answer your question, no, I would not refer to any of those natural phenomena as god, nor would most people, I imagine.

»

Answer me this Mr Nicey Nice

If there isn't a God, how do you explain the existance of so many perfect assholes?
»

only you

see those, the rest of us don't.
»

Like in the Sixth Sense movie

I see assholes. But they don't know they're assholes.
»

constructive or destructive

As you imply a belief in God, I encourage you to review and contemplate on James 3:9-11, “Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?”

 

How is it honoring to God for you to defend his existence by pointing in contempt to his masterpiece? What good do you expect to achieve, in the context of this discussion, by you comments?

 

Your comments were not constructive for resolving the critical issues at stake in this discussion. Furthermore, they are demeaning to human people (I know that’s redundant) who were participating in this dialogue. I ask you to please change the nature of your comments so as to add value to this discussion, or not participate so as not to take value away from the discussion.

 

I still encourage you to add valid arguments and relevant facts to facilitate a better understanding of the issues for all of us.

 

Good-night, Rebecca

»

Huh

I mean Huh?
»

Wow

The first thing you should know of this blog, is there are quite a few jokers here, and lots of inside jokes. Sometimes a serious discussion needs to be...lightened...a bit. Most of us have a pretty good sense of humor about it. Just in case you are interested.
»

sorry

So in other words this is an inside joke? I guess I did miss that . . . I just heard someone calling someone else ------- in what had been (I thought) a pleasant and interesting conversation. And I'm going, what's your point? why are you jumping in and calling someone names? If it was intended as a joke among people that know eachother, that does change the perspective a bit . . . I'm sorry, guys.
»

But it brings up an

But it brings up an interesting point.  How do you build continued membership on Olyblog? 

I can think of a couple of other first time posters who haven't come back because of personal relationships and inside jokes that weren't known to be inside jokes.  I don't have the answer.  Just saying...

»

No need to be sorry

You simply took me at face value, respectfully told me you didn't approve, and asked me to explain what I meant. Nothing at all wrong with that.
»

This is totally cool. 

This is totally cool.  Olyblog works (well... at least when it does work) because everyone helps moderate.  Don't sweat it if you missed a crude, but funny, inside joke.  It really does help to have folks pitch in on keeping it civil around here.

 

The Canaanite's Call

»

Some joker at ESD 113 once

Some joker at ESD 113 once passed around a flyer, had a picture of Bruce and Haley Joel talking, and underneath it said "I see stupid people. They're everywhere. They don't even know that they're stupid. And they all work here."

Damn the United States! I wish I may never hear of the United States again!
Philip Nolan, the man without a country

»

What's

ESD113?
»

Educational Service District

Educational Service District 113; handling most schools in a five county area (North Thurston School District being an exception) and home to the Administration office of the Sound to Harbor Head Start/ECEAP program.

Damn the United States! I wish I may never hear of the United States again!
Philip Nolan, the man without a country

»

That's not true...

we do plenty of stuff with NTPS.
»

My mistake, I was thinking

My mistake, I was thinking of Human Resources. North Thurston handles their own hiring since '99 or '00, unless that's recently changed again.

I take it you work at ESD. Just curious, why'd you ask me what it was then?

Damn the United States! I wish I may never hear of the United States again!
Philip Nolan, the man without a country

»

Because

it's many things to many people.
»

Don't talk about it

If your faith is questioned, you say, "I don't like to talk about my faith. It's there, and it's private, and that's the way I will continue to keep it." Nobody can fault you for keeping your thoughts/feelings on a subject to yourself.

Why do you feel the need to "come out"? Why do you want to talk about it? Maybe I'm just more private about my faith. I say, "I'm Christian/Catholic" and that's generally the end of it.

»

Interesting answers, thank you all.

I posted this because of how closely it resembles something that might have been written by a closet GLBTQ person. Seems like the same concerns being voiced. As an atheist myself, and after years of being "in the closet" about it, I've recently found a community of like minded individuals and am no longer afraid or nervous about proclaiming my atheism publicly. I used to hide it from people because of the looks that I would get or cold treatment I would receive. This was especially true in the case of some fundamentalist family members who would say some pretty terrible things to me when they realized I was an atheist.

I really identify with this letter, it's always nice to know you're not alone.

»

you mean . . .?

So was the letter really written by someone who’s trying to decide whether to openly identify as an atheist, or is this just a practice scenario to get us thinking? I guess I’ll post my response anyway, because I worked on it and like what I came up with and want to share it rather than crumple it up and throw it in the garbage bin.
»

no

It's the real deal.
»

friendship

As you determine the best course of action and how your decision will affect your relationships, here is a question to ponder. What is the quality of a friendship that depends on false pretenses?  

Think about that. Here’s my thoughts: If you’re looking to fit into a group and the warmth of going to gatherings and being in with everyone else, you may get that by keeping your beliefs to yourself (aside from still feeling out of place because you know this doesn’t represent you). But if you are looking for close, personal friendships; you should be able to discuss your beliefs with your friend(s) or at least not depend on concealing them.

 As far as the school is concerned, excuse me for asking, but why did you go to a private Christian school if you didn’t believe those things? If you just wanted to finish a degree, aren’t there lots of public colleges which wouldn’t (constitutionally couldn’t) require any statement of faith, are probably cheaper and probably easier to get admitted to? Maybe I’m missing something . . . I suppose there are other reasons a school might appeal to you, but I’m just not seeing it in the facts provided . . .
»

Belief

Just the word "belief" constitutes that there is an element of inability to prove something.

If something is proven it requires no belief (other than the use of the term "belief" as "trust", such as "I believe in my car" being "I trust my car").

Belief as a religious practice, therefore, indicates that there is an element of doubt, yet the choice to overide said doubt with an acceptance, of sorts.  With that thought in mind, I find that "complete" atheism doesn't work for me, as I have a tendency to consider that I don't have all the answers on the issues of "afterlife", "supreme beings" and other spiritual points.

I consider myself a "non-religionist" in that I don't need an organized effort to ponder and consider the existence of a supreme being or afterlife or other such questions.  Yet, the idea that I consider them, therefore a "belief" says that I could not be atheistic, per se.

If you think you have problems, try living inside my head.

»

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

OlyBlog.net

OlyBlog is devoted to hyperlocal news and discussion specifically about Olympia, Washington. Contributors to OlyBlog are citizen journalists who care about their community and are tired of corporate media.

If you'd like to contribute, please register for an account. Here is a list of local news beats that need to be covered. You can post your news as a personal blog entry, and it will be reviewed (and possibly edited) for promotion to the front page. You can also send news via email. All members of OlyBlog agree to abide by our Social Contract. You should also look at our comment and fair use policies. If you are frustrated about something said in a comment thread, go here.

Olyblogger of the Month:

decorabilia

Sponsored by:

Docents are fellow citizen journalists who volunteer to be at your service in order to help with any blog-related issues. They are:

Rob Richards
Interests: community building; participatory art, democracy and economics; local politics; citizen journalism.

emmettoconnell
Interests: City Council, developing a local issues forum.

enpen
Interests: OlyBlog poster calendar, Olympia public art, local artist interviews, his family, poetry and stuff.

Robert Whitlock
Interests: peace, justice, nature, nonviolence, media, environment

Rick
Interests: citizen journalism, hyperlocal media, the knowledge commons.

Get Firefox!

OlyBlog is a site for news and discussion about Olympia, Washington.
free hit counter