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Submitted by Rob Richards on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 12:51am.
Dear Cary, I am a 20-year-old who is attending college full time. I am also an atheist. The problem is, no one knows and I feel like I cannot tell anyone. For one thing, I attend a Christian-affiliated school that in order to attend I was required to sign a statement of faith. I knew I didn't believe in a god (or specifically, their God) when I signed it, but I did anyway just so there wouldn't be any hassle with the college -- I'm a transfer student and I just want to finish my degree as soon as possible. If I began actually being honest, however, I have a feeling the school would dismiss me. The other thing preventing me from "coming out" is the number of relationships that seem like they would crumble as a result. My parents and I have never had the best relationship. We've just recently started becoming close, and I don't want to lose that. They are deeply religious, however, and my admitting to be an atheist might tear that fragile bond apart. This past summer I tried having some conversations with them about my changing religious beliefs, and I've never before seen them so angry. While I do not need their approval (there is no way I would claim a belief out of guilt), I also do not need to be alienated from my parents. Then there is all of my friends, who are mostly Christians. They all think I believe likewise, and I haven't really done anything to prevent the thought. I'm afraid that telling the truth about who I am might place a huge distance between me and the ones I love. I'm really tired of lying and I just want people to know me for who I am. But would announcing my atheism do more damage than good? Should I just remain as I am until I graduate and am out on my own? Or should I be bold and be honest and hope it all works out for the best? Sincerely,
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My wife has a wood sign on
Submitted by Ehver Green on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 8:30am.My wife has a wood sign on our wall in the living room and it makes quite a bit of sense.
Be Truthful
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything!
- Mark Twain
I can only imagine the number of lies this has spawned. It is only going to get worse. Would you rather your friends and family discover the real you when you slip up or when you sit them down to tell them who you are?
What's to announce
Submitted by Guglielmo on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 8:44am.I think that's the best
Submitted by Merwyn Haskett on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 9:33am.As for her parents, she can't now or ever control how they think. If they're going to be outraged and shun her she really can't do a thing about it, other than to use lies and deception to prevent it. She needs to think about what she's really protecting.
Same with her friends. She'll find out soon enough which ones are true friends and which ones aren't. To be fair she'll need to make allowances for having deceived them in the first place, and give them time for that first initial shock. Again, she can't ever change how they think. In fact, the goal isn't to change what they think about God, it's to hope that they remember Christian acceptance.
Finally, lying to get into the school. Is it a prestigious school? Can the degree be earned elsewhere? Perhaps switching schools far away from the sphere of influence would be good for allowing her space to become herself.
If switching schools isn't an option, then keep the lie going until you have the degree, a declaration of faith was signed afterall.
Damn the United States! I wish I may never hear of the United States again!
Philip Nolan, the man without a country
Everyone is different but I
Submitted by Ehver Green on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 11:06am.Everyone is different but I would need to reveal the deception in person, face-to-face.
thinking of others first is always the correct answer.
Submitted by eregular on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 11:00am.if this person didn't want to hurt anyone or go through the whole drama of coming out. Then they shouldn't. I know people should be who they are, but his(her?) parents are just being who they are if they freak out on their child. What a tough place to be in, glad my parents didn't freak when I told them I wasn't a Christian, (although I still hold strong spiritual beliefs.)
Maybe this is opening a can of worms, but doesn't complete ahtiesm seem unscientific? With all the mysteries of quantum mechanics, string theory, the seemingly perfect balanced cycles on the earth/solar system....couldn't you call those forces god?
I mean...evolution is a religious idea, and anyone who argues that should do a little more homework. No one has ever seen a creature evolve...that makes it an issue of faith(plus the complete lack of transitionary creatures in the fossil records). Lets pretend though that life is this giant "accident" and that human beings have no purpose on this planet. Wouldn't it take billions of circumstances lining up to allow something as phenomonal and unreproduce-able as evolution? For instance, the precise distance the earth is from the sun, the amount of water, oxygen, temperature etc etc etc...couldn't you call all those factors lining up "god" ??
We've moved into this postmodern era, and no one believes only christians have it right on this whole god thing.
Maybe I'm doing a straw man arguement here...in fact i know I am, because attacking evolution is a lot easier than challenging athiesm.
There are to many archealogical discoveries that have been supressed by the scietific community because they do not fit in with what the current theorys are. such as, pyramids off the coast of japan http://www.cyberspaceorbit.com/phikent/japan/japan.html
How about a prehistoric nuclear reactor found in the gabon republic of africa? http://www.pureinsight.org/pi/index.php?news=960
i could go on for days, let me share a few more..
3 billion year old spheres found in africa
http://community-2.webtv.net/WF11/3BillionYearOld/
12,000 year old stones from alleged alien spaceship crash http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dropa
i'm gonna start a new blog about this maybe...and we can fling mud at eachother...
I'm
Submitted by Rob Richards on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 8:14pm.Oh, and atheism has got nothing to do with any of the things you've mentioned and to answer your question, no, I would not refer to any of those natural phenomena as god, nor would most people, I imagine.
Answer me this Mr Nicey Nice
Submitted by Guglielmo on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 8:21pm.only you
Submitted by Rob Richards on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 8:38pm.Like in the Sixth Sense movie
Submitted by Guglielmo on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 8:55pm.constructive or destructive
Submitted by rebecca on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 10:48pm.As you imply a belief in God, I encourage you to review and contemplate on James 3:9-11, “Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?”
How is it honoring to God for you to defend his existence by pointing in contempt to his masterpiece? What good do you expect to achieve, in the context of this discussion, by you comments?
Your comments were not constructive for resolving the critical issues at stake in this discussion. Furthermore, they are demeaning to human people (I know that’s redundant) who were participating in this dialogue. I ask you to please change the nature of your comments so as to add value to this discussion, or not participate so as not to take value away from the discussion.
I still encourage you to add valid arguments and relevant facts to facilitate a better understanding of the issues for all of us.
Good-night, Rebecca
Huh
Submitted by Guglielmo on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 11:42pm.Wow
Submitted by Norm on Sun, 10/28/2007 - 12:26am.sorry
Submitted by rebecca on Sun, 10/28/2007 - 9:36am.But it brings up an
Submitted by Ehver Green on Sun, 10/28/2007 - 10:00am.But it brings up an interesting point. How do you build continued membership on Olyblog?
I can think of a couple of other first time posters who haven't come back because of personal relationships and inside jokes that weren't known to be inside jokes. I don't have the answer. Just saying...
No need to be sorry
Submitted by Guglielmo on Sun, 10/28/2007 - 4:17pm.This is totally cool.
Submitted by Phil Owen on Sun, 10/28/2007 - 2:07pm.This is totally cool. Olyblog works (well... at least when it does work) because everyone helps moderate. Don't sweat it if you missed a crude, but funny, inside joke. It really does help to have folks pitch in on keeping it civil around here.
The Canaanite's Call
Some joker at ESD 113 once
Submitted by Merwyn Haskett on Sun, 10/28/2007 - 7:47am.Damn the United States! I wish I may never hear of the United States again!
Philip Nolan, the man without a country
What's
Submitted by DC on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 3:10pm.Educational Service District
Submitted by Merwyn Haskett on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 3:29pm.Damn the United States! I wish I may never hear of the United States again!
Philip Nolan, the man without a country
That's not true...
Submitted by DC on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 3:42pm.My mistake, I was thinking
Submitted by Merwyn Haskett on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 3:45pm.I take it you work at ESD. Just curious, why'd you ask me what it was then?
Damn the United States! I wish I may never hear of the United States again!
Philip Nolan, the man without a country
Because
Submitted by DC on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 3:50pm.Don't talk about it
Submitted by Norm on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 1:28pm.If your faith is questioned, you say, "I don't like to talk about my faith. It's there, and it's private, and that's the way I will continue to keep it." Nobody can fault you for keeping your thoughts/feelings on a subject to yourself.
Why do you feel the need to "come out"? Why do you want to talk about it? Maybe I'm just more private about my faith. I say, "I'm Christian/Catholic" and that's generally the end of it.
Interesting answers, thank you all.
Submitted by Rob Richards on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 1:43pm.I really identify with this letter, it's always nice to know you're not alone.
you mean . . .?
Submitted by rebecca on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 7:45pm.no
Submitted by Rob Richards on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 8:03pm.friendship
Submitted by rebecca on Sat, 10/27/2007 - 7:51pm.Think about that. Here’s my thoughts: If you’re looking to fit into a group and the warmth of going to gatherings and being in with everyone else, you may get that by keeping your beliefs to yourself (aside from still feeling out of place because you know this doesn’t represent you). But if you are looking for close, personal friendships; you should be able to discuss your beliefs with your friend(s) or at least not depend on concealing them.
As far as the school is concerned, excuse me for asking, but why did you go to a private Christian school if you didn’t believe those things? If you just wanted to finish a degree, aren’t there lots of public colleges which wouldn’t (constitutionally couldn’t) require any statement of faith, are probably cheaper and probably easier to get admitted to? Maybe I’m missing something . . . I suppose there are other reasons a school might appeal to you, but I’m just not seeing it in the facts provided . . .Belief
Submitted by Anonymously Larry on Mon, 10/29/2007 - 9:37am.Just the word "belief" constitutes that there is an element of inability to prove something.
If something is proven it requires no belief (other than the use of the term "belief" as "trust", such as "I believe in my car" being "I trust my car").
Belief as a religious practice, therefore, indicates that there is an element of doubt, yet the choice to overide said doubt with an acceptance, of sorts. With that thought in mind, I find that "complete" atheism doesn't work for me, as I have a tendency to consider that I don't have all the answers on the issues of "afterlife", "supreme beings" and other spiritual points.
I consider myself a "non-religionist" in that I don't need an organized effort to ponder and consider the existence of a supreme being or afterlife or other such questions. Yet, the idea that I consider them, therefore a "belief" says that I could not be atheistic, per se.
If you think you have problems, try living inside my head.