So, this past month I have had more than one incredibly negative encounter with the man, and from what I have heard, so have many other people in downtown. In fact, if you find yourself in a crowded area in downtown and even utter his name, a chorus of disdain, anger, and out-right hatred will echo you from anyone in your immediate vicinity. Try it! It's hilarious! It seems as though everybody has beef with Mr. Nutter.

Recently Michael Nutter called the police on me because I tied my (well behaved) dog to the lightpost outside of his shop while I bought a cup of coffee at B&B nextdoor. Apparently, it is illegal to leave animals unattended in public. I'm sure. I'm sure that warrants a 9-11 call and an emergency dispatcher's time, and a bunch of tax money. Wow.

Michael Nutter has been a comical NIMBY nuisance ever since he came to town, and has a history of harassing downtowners for the STUPIDEST reasons he can conjure up. I know of many people who claim that Nutter called the cops on them for mundane, everyday activities that aren't even illegal, and that when the officers got there to question them, they didn't even know what was going on. I have even heard stories of him making rude comments and harassing school age children that dare to touch the pristine glass of the windows of his customer-free shop. The (awesome) local punk band The Shorebirds has even written a song about Nutter and how he is ruining that entire strip of downtown. During the procession of the species parade, multiple people scrawled chalk notes on the sidewalk in front of his building denouncing him as "a big meanie" and telling him to piss off.

Enough is Enough! Michael Nutter and his attempts at keeping downtown the most mundane, uninteresting, fancy schmancy business oriented, gentrified strip mall will not stand! His harassment of downtowners is inexcusable, and his excessive use of police calls serves to widen the already intolerable power imbalance between business owners and street folk. I know he has money, but that shouldn't mean that he has more power than me in a place this small. I refuse to tolerate this man's ludicrous behavior any longer.

At times his actions are almost silly, but then I stop and think about the oncoming assault on downtown culture, with the imminent noise ordinance, disbanding of height restriction on downtown buildings (*cough* CONDOS! *cough*), the "pedestrian interference ordinance," and other evil plans that are hatched in the evil real estate developer's evil laboratory that are going to destroy the place that I live and hang out it, and suddenly, its not so funny. Suddenly I picture downtown Olympia awash with Michael Nutters, except in this nightmare they are the owners of the Gap, Taco Bell, and Pier 1, and in this nightmare I hardly notice the cops yelling at me because I can't hear them over the incessant blast of MUZAK that is coming out of the two competing Starbucks that are across the street from each other. Its happening right now! Nutter is just the beginning!

So what can we do about it?

Obviously, no matter what we do, Nutter is just going to call the police and try to get us arrested, so none of the usual three-word-chant sit in type stuff will work. It is time to explore more creative options. I propose that we get hundreds of little kids to write him letters that say he is a bad man, that his actions are discriminitory, and that he makes babies cry. Ask every little kid you know to write one, we should make a campaign about it. J.E.R.K. : Juveniles Emphatically wReaking Kapitalism... or some such acronym.

I also propose that we have a march and celebration IN FAVOR of Michael Nutter where we bake him cookies and have a twelve day party for him and very sarcastically (but without ever saying we hate him) praise him for what a wonderful person he is. This party should have clowns and a petting zoo and balloons and streamers and glitter and the whole bit.

I also propose that we start a "Have You Hugged Michael Nutter Today?" campaign, emphasizing the fact that maybe no one is, and that's why he's so full of bourgeoisie rage against the common folk. I forsee large posters, buttons, t-shirts, and everything possible to make sure that he knows about it.

Got any other ideas? I would like for this to be fun, creative, and not mean spirited, and not illegal or super serious. This could be the type of thing that eases some humor back into Olympia after all the crazy May Day backlash. Maybe it will be good to laugh a little bit while doing something constructive...

If you do have any ideas, or have any Nutter related stories you'd like to share please email: nomorenutter@gmail.com