An agent goes to a producer and says "Have I got an act for you! It's a family act and...

Oh. I guess this isn't the proper venue for that one.

If Pro- is the opposite of Con-, does that mean Congress is the opposite of Progress?

Since it appears this is a blog for (bad?) jokes, I'll give it a try......

How can you tell if you just bought an assault rifle from the French Special Forces?

It's never been fired and it has scratches from being dropped..... 

 Picture Mr. Hotdog standing by his mailbox looking at his mail.  Caption: "You may already be a wiener"

Letter from the Penis

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

• I do physical labor.
• I work at great depths.
• I plunge head first into everything I do.
• I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
• I work in a damp environment.
• I don't get paid overtime.
• I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
• I work in high temperatures.
• My work exposes me to contagious Diseases.

Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the Administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

• You do not work 8 hours straight.
• You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
• You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
• You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen Visiting other locations.
• You do not take initiative -- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
• You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
• You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
• You will retire well before you are 65.
• You are unable to work double shifts.
• You sometimes leave your designated work before you have Completed the assigned task.
• And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the Workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Doesn't everyone have two?

:)

 The APB goes out "Small medium at large"

"I think there was something funny in that hippie."--Lrrr ruler of Omicron Persei 8

"Whoa, I feel like I'm flying"-- Lrrr, shortly after eating the hippie.

 Suprise visitor at White House Easter Egg Roll

"I think there was something funny in that hippie."--Lrrr ruler of Omicron Persei 8

"Whoa, I feel like I'm flying"-- Lrrr, shortly after eating the hippie.

"I think there was something funny in that hippie."--Lrrr ruler of Omicron Persei 8

"Whoa, I feel like I'm flying"-- Lrrr, shortly after eating the hippie.

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, "Hey Koala! What are you doing?" The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some"

"A point of view is only a view from a point..." ~ Unknown

that doesn't need to be repaired for five years?

An import.

...to get credit.

However, I must first add a disclaimer so as not to offend Mr. Richards.  I intend no disrespect to any professionals in the field of learning about our past.  If my joke is in bad taste I apologize and ask that it be removed.  This joke was sent to me by a friend who works in this field.  Therefore I feel as though it is appropriate to share with the readers of olyblog. 

Again, I apologize in advance if my submissions is insulting or offensive. 

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick!

He croaked!

Bush said that once but I think this is even more of an accomplishment.

Thanks for participating.  Get ready for next Friday...

-Zach