What Walks on Two Legs & Wants to Meet You?

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What Walks on Two Legs & Wants to Meet You?

Submitted by Sarah on Tue, 02/07/2006 - 8:01pm.

A Capitol Lake Caiman, but of course. Evolved from "toothless, two-legged crocodile ancestor(s) that walked upright and had a beak instead of teeth".

News reports claim that relevant fossils were simply overlooked because there are way more fossils than scientists and grad students. But really, we all know the true source of the 60 year delay of discovery.

I must credit the esteemed national reporter Stephen Colbert and also all the brave and misfortunate Olympia documentarians of caiman activity for this evolving story of vital importance.

Please remember, if a scaly fellow offers you a beer, or even worse, a smoke, just say No. Together we can rid our community of foul caimans and their ilk.

Sarah's blog
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Or even worse than a beer or

Submitted by stevenl on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 6:24am.

Or even worse than a beer or smoke, if they ask you sign an Eyman petition! They love that guy!

Another former habitat was Ulcer Gulch up at the Legislative Building. But now they operate with computers and meet at more discrete locations where the screams from legislative arm-twisting are muffled by the thick walls of posh offices. Judges, legislators, government executives, lobbyists, reporters, Democrat, Republican-- no occupation or political party having to do with government is safe from the influence of this sociopathic animal.

Ever see a caiman smile? So happily evil. It stands to reason they thrive in Olympia, the political center of Washington.

I saw a couple of them gliding under the water at the lake yesterday, their beady little eyes poking just above the surface scanning the shore for easy victims.

You know what they really hate? Puns. They don't get them. And then they detect something was said that passed them by and they get mad. If you catch a caiman and want to make it reveal their heinous master plans, then strap it to a chair and let loose with a string of puns.

They not only love Eyman, wor

Submitted by Sarah on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 9:10am.

They not only love Eyman, word has it that he is on their payroll. I'm not really sure that I want to know what they pay him with.

I've developed an immediate n

Submitted by Robert Whitlock on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 9:16am.

I've developed an immediate nervous response to nearby caiman presence or activity. This early warning and detection signal helps me to be aware of their movements and actions. Some of them are very well disguised though. So beware. "Do not underestimate the power of the caiman."

That is a very useful skill y

Submitted by Sarah on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 10:45am.

That is a very useful skill you have there. Could be profitable, you could hire out as a caiman detection master. Customers could have you walk with them, even dine with them. Imagine the pain and suffering you will prevent.

It's hard work. I don't know

Submitted by Robert Whitlock on Thu, 02/09/2006 - 9:00pm.

It's hard work. I don't know if I could do it professionally. The rates might be too steep.

The toll it could take would

Submitted by Sarah on Thu, 02/09/2006 - 9:38pm.

The toll it could take would be enormous, too much responsibility for one person.

He could perform that as an a

Submitted by stevenl on Fri, 02/10/2006 - 6:39am.

He could perform that as an anonymous public service. Donning a mask, cape, and shirt with a big "K" on it. No one would know his true identity, he would be known to all as "K-Man."

He will get a sore throat if

Submitted by Sarah on Fri, 02/10/2006 - 7:51am.

He will get a sore throat if he has to yell every time he detects a caiman. Maybe he can have a blinking light or siren system.

Brilliant idea, to be so public that he is anonymous. Boggles the mind.

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