Pass Initiative 666 –Save the Puppies. If I had a pet monkey and one day decided to throw him into my wood burning stove, locking the door behind him, he would die. He would die because of his inability to sustain life in an environment into which I thrust him. If my actions happened to be witnessed by a Good Samaritan, I would certainly, and rightly so, be charged with a criminal act. Brothers and sisters, although some say monkeys resemble humans, you and I know that we were created in God’s image, and bear no direct relation to these creatures. Yet, still we care. We sympathize with the plight of a creature with whom we share not a shred of common descent, and we do so simply because we are Christians. I ask you then, my Christian brethren, can we not extend that compassion to that with which we are related in the very flesh and soul? Most states have made great strides in eradicating that satanic ritual known as abortion. With Alito on the Supreme Court, our dream of national God-reverence shall likely come to pass. But hearken Christian soldiers; there is another who begs our urgent protection. Many times per second, all day everyday, ZILLIONS upon ZILLIONS of our vulnerable little relatives are spat out like my figurative monkey into the inhospitable atmosphere and certain death. Conjure an image of ZILLIONS of white puppy dog tails wagging in a happily harmonious unison, within the safety of their perfect pink kennel. Now imagine the affects of that life sustaining kennel’s sudden disappearance. All those ZILLIONS of perfect white puppy tails freeze stiff with the suddenness of a volcanic spume ejection. Their little puppy eyes roll up into their heads and their little wet noses cease to pant. Brothers and sisters in Christ, the time is now. We must pass initiative 666. We must save our little brothers, the sperm. Choose Life! Prohibit masturbation!