I'm not sure what your friend meant about the way I was dressed. Or why he felt it was okay to comment on my appearance. I almost never go in, but we were on foot this day as our car was being serviced nearby.

It's not easy to manage the details of life with an illness like MCS. I could have stayed home, but went along for the delicious donuts. I always wear a mask when we go out and hang back and let my husband do the talking so I don't have to remove my mask, risking unneccessary exposures.

So when my husband greeted him and requested a small box of donuts, we were taken aback by recieving no greeting, but a question , "Are 'we' Arabic?" Clearly not a welcoming gesture, or to further his knowledge of middle eastern culture. It was a broad inaccurate, generalization made at my expense, out of ignorance and in poor taste about a widely diverse group of people who already experience daily harassment and discrimination.

Misquoted my husband, you did, Yoda, My husband was in no way hostile as you have portrayed him. He didn't jump in. Standing at the counter, he said, calmly, "could be". His subtle way of saying he didn't think the joke was funny, and, for all he knows, we could be of Arab descent.

I'm glad you talked to your friend. Questions about race and religion should be posed with respect. Also, I imagine seeing someone in a mask can be scary. In the age of MCS, not to mention H1N1, why not learn a better approach.

...how his comments were construed as "racist". They do not come anywhere close to the definition of "racism". Now, had he made some type of "terrorism" or other demeaning comment, then Daisy would have a justifiable complaint. I completely agree with Yoda in that damage to his reputation has been done, how unfair to both him, his employees and the shop.

Again, a simple phone call to the owner would have been the proper way to handle this situation, vs unjustifiably trashing his business on the internet. It's hard enough running a small business, especially in the current economic climate. Owners are typically putting in 12-20 hour days, 7 days a week, just to try and make ends meet. The last thing they need is false accusations publicly posted against them.

If someone says something racist or sexist we need to talk to them about that, and ask them to not be insensitive. I don't think that taking a question like the one we're talking about and using it as evidence that that man is racist and that Arab people aren't welcome in his establishment is the right way to go about it.

Saying something racist or sexist doesn't necessarily mean that the person saying it is racist or sexist, it could mean they're ignorant and don't know the origin of what they're saying, it could mean they have an awkward and insensitive sense of humor, or a lot of things. Starting the conversation by pointing at them and saying "You're racist." won't get the conversation off the ground, and will likely just create an enemy.