O.O.P.S. advice 06/17/2007

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O.O.P.S. advice 06/17/2007

Submitted by oolyps on Mon, 06/18/2007 - 6:31am.

So, being a single person in Olympia is beginning to feel a little irritating. I feel like there are very few places to meet people, other than bars, and the people I have met I really haven't had any luck with. I have been on a few dates in the last 2 months but nothing that feels worthwhile and it seems like the pool is pretty shallow. Online dating has been scary to say the least. I think everyone in my age group (mid 20's) is currently married, divorced and still recovering, or don't want a serious relationship. But enough of my complaining.

Where can I go to find a worthwhile person, someone who is interesting and fun, to spend some time with, and give my attention to?

Signed,
Olyblogger

Dear Olyblogger,

This may go without saying, but you need to get out; be active and involved. If there are activities you enjoy that can be either solo or social affairs, don't choose the solo route. For example, if you like to bike you can ride alone but the better alternative would be to join Capital Bicycle Club, or the like. If you play chess, bring your board to a coffee shop to practice moves, you will inevitably be approached (although primarily by males so depending on what you are looking for this might not be the best idea). Try to think of what you like to do, then figure out a public forum for it.

I like fix ups through friends (Jason is less fond of this practice). I think your friends are the ones who know you best and know the traits that you seek in a partner; Jason thinks friends hook you up with people they don't want to hook up with.

You stated that online dating is scary. Without knowing why it is scary to you, we would suggest that you always meet in public and spend time talking on the phone prior to any in person meeting. Beyond that, if it's just simply not comfortable for you, then don't do it.

We also suggest that you look into some speed dating events. They can be fun, and you will meet several new people in a short period of time. Additionally, these organized events take the pressure off of you to figure out if the other person is single. They can also provide you with practice interacting on a first date.

Admittedly, this is a tough one for us because neither one of us have been single in Oly. Therefore, we hope other OlyBloggers to contribute ideas and suggestions for meeting singles.

"The Tao of Steve isn't about picking up lots of women. It's about being the best person you can be..."
-Dex, The Tao of Steve

oolyps's blog
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a worthwhile person

Submitted by chad360 on Mon, 06/18/2007 - 11:32am.

"Where can I go to find a worthwhile person, someone who is interesting and fun, to spend some time with, and give my attention to?"

Oly Free School

volunteer at a coop

Capital Theatre

...maybe host a strictly "20's & single" mixer?

Best regards :-)

Mixer

Submitted by Sarah on Mon, 06/18/2007 - 1:31pm.

I really like that idea, host a 20s and single mixer!

I'm in my 30s and taken, can

Submitted by Merwyn Haskett on Mon, 06/18/2007 - 2:12pm.

I'm in my 30s and taken, can I come? What, everyone else gets to go! That's right, pick on the old guy. grumble grumble

(This is the part where my Mother says "Oh, shut up.")

I've got socks that old

Submitted by Anonymously Larry on Mon, 06/18/2007 - 3:12pm.

Thirties???????

"There is only one race, the human race" - The Neville Brothers

Dude!!!!

Submitted by Norm on Mon, 06/18/2007 - 3:16pm.

I realize you hate Walmart, but the next time your significant other goes there, ask her to pick up some socks!

Absent minded ProLarry

Submitted by Anonymously Larry on Mon, 06/18/2007 - 4:19pm.

I knew there was something I was forgetting

"There is only one race, the human race" - The Neville Brothers

dating tips and clues

Submitted by prophet atlantis on Mon, 06/18/2007 - 11:52am.

Most people meet their significant others where they work, school, church, hobbies. The more you show yourself off at more events and places and let people know you are interested the more chances you have of getting positive responses.

On the flip side, many women complain that they hate having co workers and complete strangers ask them out or if they are interested. They already have relationships or are not interested and complain to their boss about it.

Many companies, especially government, have rules about co workers fraternizing or asking/getting sexual favors or relationships. Watch out. Going to popular online free dating sites for most people does not work. Those sites tend to be mostly fake people trying to get you to use your credit card for "online dating" or sell you porn or sell you knock off illegal portable phones.

Even the dating sites that charge you huge fees have or are being sued for false advertising, reselling your private information, blocking certain types of legal searches, and even having prostitutes "act" like interested dates. Speed dating has been getting more bad press. You go to a diner or public place and talk to a whole bunch of people for a couple of minutes. Sadly, many of these groups have a whole bunch of men come in to "interview" 3 women who won't go out with you unless you have a valid credit card.

Recently, some of these group leaders were arrested for selling sex, not legitimate dates.

Moral of the story. You have the right to ask, at least once in a reasonable polite manner, anyone for a date or chance to talk or go out or what have you. The more people you ask the greater chance you have of getting the kind of relationship you want.

Single in Cap City

Submitted by ms laru on Sun, 07/22/2007 - 4:53pm.

A long time resident told me he moved north because "Olympia is hell for single people". I'd agree. Been here 12 moons myself and gosh, seems like a great place if you're married and wealthy. Pretty gender-segregated and I'm not talking about Gay/Lesbian. I sense a fear of the opposite sex. I encounter distrust--of the "other". I'm not from around here, but I've lived in 10 states, from Northeast to Northern Cal. It just seems cold, distant, keep yourself protected, eyes down, arms crossed, don't be open or friendly because . . . because, what? What? Homeless people will move in on you? Tattoos may be forced upon you? You may be forced to laugh out loud? What's so scary about reaching out to others? For a place with some kind of allegedly raised consciousness, this is one uptight town. Before I got here, I was thrilled with an idea of community, activism, folks my age (50) pulling together, working for collective betterment. I do see them on the corner Friday afternoons, waving signs crying out for peace. Then to their homes they go, alone in the Hybrid, waiting for the partner to get home so the George Forman can cook up something before "Lost" comes on. Hurry up you 20 something! Marry now! Never divorce! Put away all you can in the IRA. Don't expect to find quality partnership later in life if you are lean on funds and large on pounds. Quickstep about town to get a spouse before it's too late!! Or move somewhere warmer and more friendly. peace and love. Thanks to the OlyBlog folks. good job

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