Scarf!: See Toss! Scarf! Chomp! Chew! Digest!

Scoot!: Made when a very flattened Morty Dog gains access to the home of his cartoon creator by working his way through the tiny opening under the door. (Big Mouth 3 (1993))

Scrape!: Darwin Corksniffer, an activist for creationism, drives his car without rubber tires, scraping along on the bare metal hubs. Little Mongo, a passenger asks, "Wouldn't it be easier with wheels, Corksniffer?" "I'm a tireless servant of God, Little Mongo," answers Darwin. (Limbolympia (1983))
See also: Wrrrr! Grind! Wrrrr! Wrrrrrr Wrrrrr Wrrrr Wrrrr Grind! Scrape! Wrrrrr

Scrape! Scrape!: The Little Tugboat That Could attempts to climb a steep railroad grade. (Fun in Acapulco (1982))

Scratch!:
See Scritch! Scratch!
See Skritch Scratch, Skritch Scratch Honk! Skritch Scratch Clunk! Yap Yap Yap Yap Kick! Glug Gabug Glug Gabug

Scratch! Scritch!: A Morty Dog scratching at the door of the Crick sisters, Grizelda and Gertie. (Cranium Frenzy 2 (1982))

Screech!:
(1) A Morty Dog being chased by government agents comes to a screeching halt when a voice off-panel declares, "Lunchtime!" This is followed by all the characters in the story taking a break and standing in line in a cafeteria making rude comments about the low quality of the plot they are fated to follow. (Cranium Frenzy 10 (2003))
(2) A Morty Dog suddenly stops when a door that originally appeared to be an exit turns out to be an entry into a bottomless pit, with a happy floating skull and crossbones greeting him. (Dog of Dawn, Dog of Dusk (1985))

Screech! Skiz Skerz Skiz. Splat!: A Morty Dog dies and is deep in the journey through the tunnel of light (which turns out in reality to be a colon), and at the end he sees an illuminated figure calling his name. Morty says to himself, "Oh crap! It's that blasted Being of Light-- complete with the vacuous New Age music! I have obviously taken a wrong turn!" So Morty pulls the emergency brake cord (Screech!) and complete with hardhat and a handsaw (Skiz Skerz Skiz), saws a hole in the tunnel, where the free piece falls to the other side (Splat!). (Cranium Frenzy 8 (1995))

Screech! Snap! Tangle! Wrap! Tie! Zip! Grab!: A Morty Dog is chased by a being who has long, string-like tentacles all over his body. At the end of each tentacle is a little face. Morty screeches to a halt and snaps off a stone crucifix which was affixed to the top of a bust of Millard Fillmore. Using this implement, he tangles up several of the tentacles and in effect makes this strange being a marionette puppet, which Morty uses to grab an urn containing Millard Fillmore's ashes. (How Two Ex-Presidents Went Up My Nose! (1994))

Screecharoo!: Made when a Dogtown Bus Lines public transit grinds to a halt in order to avoid hitting a Morty Dog. (Cranium Station DMZ (1984))

Screee: A strange creature chasing a Morty Dog SCREEEches to a halt when Morty stops and turns around to tell him a joke. (Starhead Presents 1 (1986))

Screeech!: Stanley digs his heels into the ground during a running flight from a mob of his former selves as he realizes he is about to go over a steep cliff. (One Way Flight to Anywhere But here (1977))

Scribble! Scribble! Whirrrr Click Click: A big brained guy named Otto and a computer square off in a contest. (Cranium Frenzy 2 (1982))

Scritch!: See Scratch! Scritch!

Scritch! Scratch!:
(1) A Morty Dog sits at a bar and attempts to rid himself of fleas. (Cranium Frenzy 8 (1995))
(2) A beer-swilling alien with a head shaped like a gluteus maximus scatches his belly while he belches. (Modernman 3 (1999))

Sez You!: See Coo Coo! Haiku! Sez You! City Zoo! Dien Bein Phu!

Shake! Shake!: In the "Get thee to a nunnery" scene, Prince Morty grabs Ofeelya's shoulders and shakes her, then hugs her as he cries, realizing he is indeed being driven insane when he says softly himself, "It hath made me mad!" (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 3 (1984))
See also: Snarf! Sniff! Shake! Shake!

Shame!: This sound effect, complete with squiggly lines, emanates from the head of a guy who was born with a toaster embedded in the top of his cranium as he tries to impress girls but is laughed at due to his unique, and in this case, unfortunate, physical condition. (Cranium Frenzy 1 (1981))

Shemp: See Shoop Shemp Moe Zip

Shloorp!: "Back in Winnoski, Vermont, in 1979, I saw this fat, greasy sword swallower in a circus freak show. When he removed the sword from his throat, he also discharged what seemed to be a gallon of saliva, phlegm and bile-- all over the front row! [SHLOORP!] And he laughed at the victims of his fluids!" Sword Swallower: "Har! Har! Haw!" (Mukey the Mutant Membrane (1996))

Shoop!: The sound of little foot-long planks, each with an eyeball balancing on the end, suddenly SHOOPing back into Roy's eyesockets, returning his appearance to normal. (Pacemaker Defect (1982))
See also: Frrrr! Frrrr! Frrr! Shoop! Slam!
See also: Sproing! Loopy-Loop! Shoop!
See also: Zip! Zip! Shoop! Zip! Zip! Shoop! Shoop!

Shoop pop shoop pop shoop shoop pop shoop pop shoop: The sound of running when you have suction cups in place of feet. (Cranium Frenzy 2 (1982))

Shoop Shemp Moe Zip: Prince Morty and Laetentes engage in a swordfight. (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 5 (1985))

Shoop! Shoop!: See Zip! Zip! Shoop! Zip! Zip! Shoop! Shoop!

Shred:
See Boot! Shred Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip
See Pull! Fold Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Spindle Shred Mutilate! Shred! Tear! Rip! Mangle
See Push! Grab! Bash Hit Rip Shred Smash Crash Fight

Shuffle shuffle: The mad scene, enter Ofeelya, as she shuffles into the room. (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 4 (1984))

Sizzle!: See Pop! Sizzle! Zap!

Sizzle! Fry!:
(1) A man's fingers burn when he attempts to grab an idea that is too hot to hold. (Bob's Cheap Comix 1 (1987))
(2) An angry mob burns Millard Fillmore and Chester Alan Arthur at the stake. (How Two Ex-Presidents Went Up My Nose! (1994))

Skeez: See Skirk-- Skeez-- Skirk-- Skeez-- Skirk-- Skeez--

Skerk Erk Erk!: The sound of a Morty Dog digging his heels in the ground to assist him in his effort to suddenly stop in the middle of a fast run. (Rise and Fall of Morty the Dog (1987))

Skerz: See Screech! Skiz Skerz Skiz. Splat!

Skirk-- Skeez-- Skirk-- Skeez-- Skirk-- Skeez--: The sound of men with frogs stuck in the tops of their craniums using handsaws to cut holes in the floor of their home. (Bezango (1994))

Skiz: See Screech! Skiz Skerz Skiz. Splat!

Skrash!: See Whoosh! Crash! Zow! Bonk! Bonk! Smash! Zip! Zow! Zip! Skrash! Rrrrr-rrrr-sput-rrrr-sput Blink! Ka-rash!

Skratch!:
See Skritch! Skratch!
See Swoop! Swoop! Choke! Gag! Skuttle Skretch Skratch

Skreee!: A locomotive coming to a sudden stop in July 1884 near Yale, B.C. when a Sasquatch is spotted. (Sasquatch Comix 1 (1983))
See also: Flop! Thud! Thunk! Crack! Arrr! Garrr! Yarr! Arrrr! Yarrrg! Skreee Arrrr! Grrr! Yaarrr! Pfffftt! Slam! Whap Whap Whap Whap

Skretch: See Swoop! Swoop! Choke! Gag! Skuttle Skretch Skratch

Skritch Scratch, Skritch Scratch Honk! Skritch Scratch Clunk! Yap Yap Yap Yap Kick! Glug Gabug Glug Gabug: "When I returned home my 'house-mates' informed me that I was speading scabies, and I was sent packing (Skritch Scratch) Yes, scabies! The 'itch mite' that burrows under your skin and makes you scratch like Hell until you bleed (Skritch Scratch) So I was living in my '62 Ford Ranchwagon, scratching around town for work. My money was almost gone. (Honk! 'Outta my way, ya peckerhead!!!!') (Skritch Scratch) And then, as I drove over some railroad tracks (Clunk!) the radiator fell off, right next to the Olympia City Dog Pound! (Yap Yap Yap Yap) [kicks bumper] (Kick!) A kind friend let me use a bathtub. I poured in an entire bottle of Purex to kill the scabies (Glug Gabug Glug Gabug)". (Zoomorphia (1983))

Skritch! Skratch!: A Morty Dog marooned on a "specific Pacific dot" scratches himself. (Cranium Frenzy 5 (1985))

Skritch Skritch Pooosh! Psssssh Pssssh: A man gets too enthusiastic using a Q-tip in his ear and deflates his head. (Dogtown Zoo (1982))

Skrunk!: Made when a large hammer, wielded by a crazed brain-damaged Artnoid, comes hard upon the skull of a Wild Pointy Hat Guy. (Bezango (1994))

Skuttle: See Swoop! Swoop! Choke! Gag! Skuttle Skretch Skratch

Slam!:
(1) After squishing a tiny Morty Dog with his foot at the front porch, the cartoon creator of the mutt slams the door and returns to watching "Leave It To Beaver," declaring, "Glad that little unpleasantry is over." (Big Mouth 3 (1993))
(2) A man slams his front door shut when he sees a floating, talking skull waiting for him outside. (Cranium Frenzy 6 (1990))
(3) In the afterlife, two guards lead Richard Nixon to a special room. Nixon: "You don't have to take me to that place! Haven't I told you everything already? What else is it you want to know? There's nothing I wouldn't confess, nothing! Just tell me what it is and I'll confess it straight off. Write it down and I'll sign it-- anything!
Guard: (Pointing at the open door to room 101 with extended thumb) "Room 101." They go in. The door SLAMs shut. (Cranium Frenzy 8 (1995))
(4) A Morty Dog and the Big G peer through a porthole and see their cartoon creator saying to himself, "Yup, all of us are where we are supposed to be-- may as well accept it-- " To which Morty responds, "I hate that shit!" and slams the porthole hatch shut. (Cranium Frenzy 8 (1995))
(5) A Morty Dog lands in a strange land with unfriendly people. He knocks on the door and when the resident opens it Morty asks, "Howdy! Could you please direct me to ..." (the door SLAMs shut) " ... The way out? Hmm. Friendly place." (Cranium Frenzy 10 (2003))
(6) A young man leaves a tavern after hearing advice from a middle-aged man he didn't want to hear, and SLAMs the door as he leaves. (One Way Flight to Anywhere But Here (1977))
(7) Curve-Vision Man sings his theme song (sung to the tune of "Secret Agent Man" by P.F. Sloan and Steve Barri):

"There's a man who sees life at an angle.
On the edge of danger he does dangle.
With every curve he sees,
Bad guys fall to their knees ...
Well, not really, but the franchise rights mean gravy!

Curve-Vision Man
Curve-Vision Man
Can't think of any more lyrics,
So I guess I'll just go home."

Slap!: The cartoonist and Mukey the Mutant Membrane have been discussing possible origin stories for the latter. Then Mukey says, "I think we should put the 'origin' ideas on hold for now and cut to the chase-- marketing!" "Oops," says the cartoonist as he SLAPs his hand over his eyes in mock self-punishing, "I almost forgot! This is about money, not ideas!" (Mukey the Mutant Membrane (1996))

Slap! Slap! Slap! Slap!: A leader of the John Alden Society attempts to beat a Morty Dog, but to no avail. (Throwback (199something, I think))

Slice: See Zip! Slice Glug! Glug! Glurg!

Slice! Bonk Bonk Bonk Bonk: Arnie's left "hand" is actually the upper torso of a foul little man, sort of like having a permanent hand puppet. He finally cuts off the offending piece of him and the two go their different ways as the "hand" bounces away (Bonk, etc.) (Fun in Acapulco (1982))

Slice Slice Slice Slice Slice Slice Slice Slice Slice: A cartoonist is neatly sliced into thin layers and served as "New Hampshire pancakes." (Gimmie Comics 1 (1973))

Slip! Slip!: See Clip! Slip! Slip! Snip! Snip! Clip!

Slither!!: A very flattened Morty Dog slithers unnoticed across the living room floor while his cartoon creator is watching "Leave It To Beaver." (Big Mouth 3 (1993)

Slorp!: See Chug! Slorp! Chug!

Slurp!: An abominable snowman slurps on a Popsicle comprised of a guy who once had a toilet plunger on his head and dove upside-down into a snow field while perfectly balanced on the plunger stick, and thus over time freezing into a position not unlike a Popsicle. The good news is that the victim was living a parallel life as U.S. President Chester Alan Arthur. (Cranium Frenzy 1 (1981))
See also: Toss! Slurp!

Slurp! Slurp!: Jacko the Sasquatch drinking milk out of a bowl, Yale, B.C. 1884. (Sasquatch Comix 1 (1983))

Slurp! Slurpo!: A psychopath drinks the cranium of a living statue through a straw. Explaining any further would only make this entry worse. (Gimmie Comics 1 (1973))

Slurpo!: See Slurp! Slurpo!

Smack:
(1) Prince Morty kisses the hand of the Queen. (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 1 (1983))
(2) Prince Morty kisses the King, knowing full well it will annoy and confuse the monarch. (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 3 (1984))
(3) Prince Morty kisses the hand of the King and says, "Farewell dear Mother." (SMACK!) King: "Thy loving Father, Morty." Morty: "My Mother-- Father and Mother is man and wife, man and wife is one flesh; and so, my Mother!" (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 4 (1984))
See also: Grab! Rrrip! Toss! Smack Crunch Crunch
See also: Whump! Tap! Tap! Smack!

Smack! Smack!: The sound of a corporate ass-kisser. (Iron Moose 3 (1984))

Smak!: See Chomp! Zip! Swoosh! Zow! Smak! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Smak! Thud Bonk!: A Morty Dog awakes inside a train boxcar filled with eyeballs on the Eyeball Express, so he breaks out (SMAK!) and lands on the hard ground (THUD, BONK!) (Rise and Fall of Morty the Dog (1987))

Smash!:
(1) When a tire formerly held by a circus clown at the back of the Dogtown Bus Lines coach smashes through the front windshield as the result the bus grinding to a halt in order to avoid hitting a Morty Dog. (Cranium Station DMZ (1984))
(2) A Morty Dog races into a giant mirror, declaring, "If it worked for Alice, it'll work for me. 'Morty through the looking glass.'" (Cranium Frenzy 5 (1985))
(3) Snoodle B. Clapsaddle, who as a postal clerk switched packages at random and as a consequence accidentally elevated a Morty Dog into a major Republican political figure, takes a baseball bat to his television when he sees Morty on it. "What a jerk!" Snoodle declares, "How did a mutt like that ever get to power?" (Cranium Frenzy 7 (1994))
(4) A Morty Dog in a tight spot spies a glass case that reads, "In case of emergency, Heaven forbid, go and break the glass!" He uses his fist to SMASH it open, and from the case produces a saxophone. (Dog of Dawn, Dog of Dusk (1985))
(5) Two giant computer globes ram into each other in a fight to the finish. (Dogtown Zoo (1982))
See also: Push! Grab! Bash Hit Rip Shred Smash Crash Fight
See also: Swipe! Smash!
See also: Whap! Smash!
See also: Whoosh! Crash! Zow! Bonk! Bonk! Smash! Zip! Zow! Zip! Skrash! Rrrrr-rrrr-sput-rrrr-sput Blink! Ka-rash!

Smash! Bash! Crash! Mash! Zip!: A Morty Dog in a televised political debate uses tape to affix refrigerator magnets to his eyes and is pulled into the TV camera, through the electronic cable and into the "Split-O-Meter," where he multiplies and emerges (SMASH, etc.) through home televisions all over the nation, and ZIPs toward every refrigerator. (Morty the Dog Who Walks Like a Man (1987))

Smoochie Smoochie: A woman attempts to kiss her boyfriend in public, but he replies, "Lynn, stop it! People are starting to stare!" (Mythic Residue (1978))

Snap!:
(1) A Calvinist Crank flying a live Morty kite at the beach loses his toy when the string breaks. (Xenophobic Knives, And Other Love Songs pt. 2 (1990))
(2) A strange and evil little man in a small asteroid SNAPs his fingers as he summons one of his minions to do his bidding. ([Unnamed comic strip] (ca. 1981))
(3) Prince Morty SNAPs his fingers to make a point: "The interim is mine, and a man's life's no more than to say ... [SNAP] ... 'One' ..." (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 5 (1985))
See also: Screech! Snap! Tangle! Wrap! Tie! Zip! Grab!
See also: Yank! Twirl Twirl R-r-rip! Snap Zip Bonk!

Snap! Crackle Pop: Dave Kasper, inter-stellar coroner, snaps his fingers as he suddenly makes a realization. His robotic assitant, Larry, makes a Crackle Pop sound in response. (Human Beings (1985))

Snap! Snap!:
(1) A shark jumps out of the water and makes an attempt to eat a Morty Dog who is marooned on a tiny island. The shark's jaws makes this sound as they bite into empty air. (Cranium Frenzy 5 (1985))
(2) The King snaps his fingers when he orders Roseyhead and Goldenass to quickly obey his order. (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 3 (1984))

Snap! Snap! Snap!:
(1) A lawnmower with a mouth and sharp teeth, chases his owner, Snoodle B. Clapsaddle, attempting to bite him. (Cranium Frenzy 7 (1994))
(2) A Morty Dog snaps his fingers in front of the face of the Bathtub Man, who appears to have drifted off into a comatose state. "Hello? Hello? Anyone home?" (How Two Ex-Presidents Went Up My Nose! (1994))

Snap! Zip!:
Prince Morty: Will you play upon this pipe?
Goldenass: My Lord, I cannot.
Prince Morty: I pray you.
Goldenass: Believe me, I cannot.
Prince Morty: I do beseech you!
Goldenass: I know no touch of it my Lord.
Prince Morty: It is as easy as lying; Govern these ventages with your fingers and thumb, give it breath with your mouth, and it will discourse crazy jive. Look you, these are the stops!
Goldenass: But these cannot I command to any utterance of harmony; I have not the skill!!
Prince Morty: Why look you now how unworthy a thing you would make of me. You would play upon me, you would seem to know my stops, you would pluck out the heart of my mystery, you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass!!! And there is much music, excellent voice in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak! 'Sblood! Do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe?!?
[Prince Morty SNAPs the musical instrument in two. Roseyhead and Goldenass ZIP out of the room]
Prince Morty: Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me.
(Tragedy of Morty, Prince Of Denmarke 3 (1984))

Snarf:
See Snif Snarf
See Sniff-Snarf!
See Sniff! Snarf! Sniff!
See Toss! Zip! Thunk! Poink! Sniff! Snarf! Swik Swak Swik Swak Swik Jab!

Snarf! Gulp!: A monster eats four cartoon characters, who respond with "Yaaargh!" "Ieeee!" "Owch!" "Croak!" (Dog of Dawn, Dog of Dusk (1985))

Snarf! Sniff! Shake! Shake!: Guys with square blocks where their legs used to be hand a Morty Dog a copy of their Sacred Book, "Our Sacred Book instructs us to go no further, to sit on our butts in bliss, waiting for ... waiting for ... uh ... er ... " They hand the Book to Morty, who sniffs it (Snarf! Sniff!) and shakes out the fluttery remains of the pages (Shake! Shake!) "Why do you kid yourselves? There's nothing in this book! The pages decayed long ago!" (Dog of Dawn, Dog of Dusk (1985))

Snif: See Snuk snif

Snif Snarf:
(1) A Morty Dog smells the "humor ooze" as the FrankEinstein Monster prepares to experiment with it. (Cranium Frenzy 5 (1985))
(2) A Morty Dog SNIFs and SNARFs as he recites: "April is the cruellest month, springing hay fever out of the dead land ..." (Open Stacks v31:2 (1985))

Snif! Snif!:
(1) A Morty Dog uses his sense of smell to examine a pathetic-slimey-collective-soul-man. (Cartoon Loonacy 9 (1986))
(2) A man sniffs the contents of a dark fluid in a glass. It is unclear whether this is done before or after the contents have been consumed. (Mythic Residue (1978))

Sniff!:
See Snarf! Sniff! Shake! Shake!
See Squirt! Pop! Pop! Poink! Poink! Sniff Blat! Sniff, Toss! Toss!
See Toss! Zip! Thunk! Poink! Sniff! Snarf! Swik Swak Swik Swak Swik Jab!

Sniff-Snarf!: A Morty Dog realizes, via smell, that the "humor ooze" which is covering most of his body, isn't "humor ooze" at all, but rather has an origin of a scatological nature. (Cranium Frenzy 5 (1985))

Sniff! Snarf! Sniff!: Arnie Wormwood, P.I. smells the newly emptied shot glass of Mukey Malone, a small-time crook who just died suddenly before his very eyes. "Poison," Arnie concludes. (Cranium Frenzy 2 (1982))

Sniff Sniff: When a Morty Dog receives a letter from the Republican National Committee, he sniffs it to see if it is legit. (Cranium Frenzy 7 (1994))
(2) A Morty Dog sniffs a box and declares, "Good Lord! A box of comic books!!" (Ultra Klutz 25 (1988))
See also: Zip! Zoop! Plop! Sniff Sniff Gak!

Snip! Snip!: See Clip! Slip! Slip! Snip! Snip! Clip!

Snort! Snort! Dig! Dig!: Bob Richartolovskii snorts and digs his foot in the ground like a bull ready to charge a matador, except in his case he is preparing to ram his head full speed into a Morty Dog who is vertically tied to a stake as part of a barbaric sport known as "dog butting." This is Bob's second attempt, and he is ready to finish the game, "A tough customer, eh? Well, this time I'll nail ya! And then Morty Dog will be gone FOREVER!! and then I will smile for several continuous minutes!" (Dog of Dawn, Dog of Dusk (1985))

Snuk snif: Made by a gentleman in a hat after a violent sneeze, a sneeze that sent a tiny little man standing on the brim of the hat falling to certain death. (Scratchez 4 (1984))

Spindle: See Pull! Fold Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Rip Spindle Shred Mutilate! Shred! Tear! Rip! Mangle

Spit!: See Aargh! Gasp! Bam! Spit! Punch!

Splash!: A geriatric rabbit encased in an enormous globe of condensed ice SPLASHes into the ocean after orbiting the Earth for a time. Needless to say, as the ice melts, the Earth's sea level rises considerably-- at least 20-30 feet. This story anticipates An Inconvenient Truth by two dozen years! (Pacemaker Defect (1982))
See also: Yowm! Splash!
See also: Zip! Splash!

Splat!:
(1) The fate of the earth when it got in the way of the windshield of the God-mobile (Stuff 10 (1987))
(2) The scatological sound made on a Morty Dog's head as he walks under a group of 60 ft. tall people at the wrong time. (Cartoon Loonacy 1 (1984))
(3) Maxwell, a misanthrope who lives in a large cardboard box near a swamp at the edge of town, makes this sound when he punches a happy man in the face. here's the three panel dialogue that led to the punch: "Hey Max! Why don't you smile once in awhile?" Beat it, creep!" "All you have to do is turn your frown upside-down." "I said scram, smiley!" "But Max, I only want ... Ngh!" (Cranium Frenzy 1 (1981))
(4) In a land where humor is a physical substance that can be shaped, a crude form of humor is simply to throw the oozy stuff at someone's face (Splat!) (Cranium Frenzy 5 (1985))
(5) Stanley falls over a cliff and when he SPLATs on the surface his body splits into four different individuals. (One Way Flight to Anywhere But Here (1977))
(6) The cartoonist turns into a giant and becomes a crazed and evil world ruler, wantonly squishing people with his fist with a SPLAT! (Ultra Klutz 12 (1987))
See also: Bonk! Bonk! Bonk! Splat!
See also: Kerploosh!!! Chomp! Grrrrp!!! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrip!!! Pop! Sproing!! Zow! Splat! Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!
See also: Screech! Skiz Skerz Skiz. Splat!
See also: Toss! Wham! Splat! R-r-rip!
See also: Voop Voop Voop Voop Voop Zang! Crash! Zip! Splat!

Splish!: See Ptuuu! Splish!

Splook!: See Pluck! Zip! Splook!

Sploot!: The sound of a large sack of dead fish (dropped by the Big G) landing as it makes a near hit on the head of a Morty Dog. (Rise and Fall of Morty the Dog (1987))

Sploot! Splurk!: A Morty Dog engaging a shark in underwater fisticuffs. (Cranium Frenzy 5 (1985))

Splork!:
(1) During the "Great Frog Rain" frogs land in the soft-headed craniums of an unfortunate few, making this noise as they become embedded in the heads of these poor people. Only the frogs' heads and upper limbs remain exposed. (Bezango (1994))
(2) An alien addresses three abductees, "On your planet you have a device called a 'VCR.' Well, we have something like it called 'The Mind Recorder' ... except instead of using videocassette we use living beings! The random thoughts hidden deep in your brain cells are most amusing. And we'll start with you, snot man." And with that, two aliens shove Mukey the Mutant Membrane's head into the Mind Recorder (SPLORK!) (Modernman 3 (1999))

Splurgh!: In the year 957, soldiers defending a castle are surprised by invaders, and don't have time to pour buckets of hot oil on their enemies. So they pour cold oil, thus creating the slicked-back hair cut look which peaked in the 1950s but survives today. (Delayed Stress Syndrome Funnies (1982))

Splurk!: See Sploot! Splurk!

Spoink! Poof! Doink!: Sounds used in a metamorphosis plot device. (Amused To No End (1986))

Sproing!!: See Kerploosh!!! Chomp! Grrrrp!!! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrip!!! Pop! Sproing!! Zow! Splat! Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!

Sproing! Loopy-Loop! Shoop!: A rodent-like creature is shot into the air by an leashed coil spring under his chair. (Library Comix (1987))

Sproing! Oing! Boing! Trip! Pfpft! Poompf!: Jeb and Zeb are Siamese twins. For reasons too complicated to explain here, Zeb's eyeballs are poking out from his nostrils. Suddenly the part of his face containing the nose (with eyes) and mouth SPROINGs off his face in a neat disc shape via a big coil, causing the disengaged face to bounce away (OING! BOING!). Jeb and Zeb give chase, and TRIP as the face turns around and taunts them (with tongue sticking out, "PFPFT!"). Zeb falls in such a way to have his face re-inserted (POOMPF!), but unfortunately, it is in backwards, making the coil visible from the outside. (Mumbles 3 (1984)

Squash!: Bub shoots a ray cannon at a million little Hectors, who are re-atomized into one normal adult-sized Hector, save for one. The adult Hector unknowingly steps on and crushes (Squash!) the little miniature piece of himself. (Dogtown Zoo (1982))
See also: Squoosh Squish Squash

Squirk!: A giant computer globe rolls over and squishes a Goofball. (Dogtown Zoo (1982))

Squirt!: A Goofball squirts water out of an artificial flower on his lapel. (Dogtown Zoo (1982))

Squirt! Pop Pop Gulp!: Jeb and Zeb are Siamese twins.
Zeb, who is losing his mind, declares: I can't take it! I just can't take it anymore!! I simply will not look upon this sin around me ever again!! Out, vile jellies!! [Zeb squeezes his temples real hard, forcing his eyeballs out of his head [Squirt! Pop Pop]]
Jeb: [Deadpan] That's a bit drastic, don't you think?
Zeb: And I eat upon the evil windows that eat upon my soul!!! [GULPs down both eyeballs]
Jeb: Weird.
(Mumbles 3 (1984))

Squirt! Pop! Pop! Poink! Poink! Sniff Blat! Sniff, Toss! Toss!: A Morty Dog, fully aware of the odd circumstances that led to this condition, squirts water in the face of the cartoonist with a squirt gun. As a consequence, the heads of Millard Fillmore and Chester Alan Arthur POP out of each of the cartoonist's nostrils. Fillmore says, "Don't you just hate it when this happens?" Arthur asks, "Where's the bathroom?" The cartoonist shouts to a little man who has been waiting, "Now! Now! Now!" and the little man plucks out both heads (Poink! Poink!) leaving the cartoonist to sniff a bit. Morty and the cartoonist watch as the little man tosses both heads in a full wagon with the sign "Ex-President Cranium Transport Company." Comments Morty, "Now there's something you don't see every day-- Hey, cheer up! You could've had Nixon and Reagan up your nose." The cartoonist replies, "I'm going to make an appointment for you with the local vivisectionist." (How Two Ex-Presidents Went Up My Nose! (1994))

Squish!!:
(1) Made when a Morty Dog jumps on top of a giant, talking tube of toothpaste. (Star Force 5 (1987))
(2) The driver of a truck employed by the Dead Frog Hauling Co. runs over the head of an Artnoid, apparently without any remorse. (Bezango (1994))
(3) The cartoon creator of a Morty Dog flattens a miniature version of the mutt with his foot as if stepping on an ant. (Big Mouth 3 (1993))
(4) The Big G, without even realizing he is doing this, squishes the pathetic-slimey-collective-man as he clenches his fist while contemplating how to get rid of a Morty Dog (Cartoon Loonacy 9 (1986))
(5) Mother Earth creates a giant hand out of soil and it rises out of the ground to SQUISH the soul out of an unsuspecting man. (Mukey the Mutant Membrane (1996))
See also: Squoosh Squish Squash
See also: Tug! Squish!

Squoosh Squish Squash: The sound created when an angel with a frog embedded in his head drives a panel truck over the craniums, on purpose, of several Artnoids. Too complicated to explain why here. The angel declares, "Now this won't hurt a bit. You are making a brave sacrifice for art!" (Bezango (1994))

Squork!: "There's a guy in Edmonds, Washington named Nate Coder who likes to play a game he calls 'Sluggy.' This game consists of placing a slug in the middle of a busy road and calling for it from the shoulder. [Nate: Sluggy! Here Sluggy!] To date, no slug has emerged victorious" A SQUORK! sound is made as a tire rolls over Sluggy. (Mukey the Mutant Membrane (1996))

Sssssssss: See Pop Whoosh! Swoosh! Foosh! Sssssssss Fooossssssshhh

Ssssssssssss: See Eeeeeee Puncture! Eeeeee Ssssssssssss

Stomp! Stomp!: See Stompity! Stompity! Stomp! Stomp!

Stompity! Stompity! Stomp! Stomp!: Arnie Wormwood stomps on the hands of a Morty Dog as the latter attempts to hang onto a ledge. (Starhead Presents 1 (1986))

Suuuuck!: A Morty Dog is sucked into a word balloon and then floats away, trapped. (Cranium Frenzy 5 (1985))

Sw-kick! Zip!: Having been bitten on the leg by a Morty Dog, a man who is about 60 ft. tall kicks the canine skyward and says, "Have a nice trip, Mutt!" (Cartoon Loonacy 1 (1984))

Swak:
See Swish Swish Swash Swak Swik Blik Blook Jab!
See Toss! Zip! Thunk! Poink! Sniff! Snarf! Swik Swak Swik Swak Swik Jab!

Swak! Swak! Swak! Swak! Swak!: The Ax Grinder, a man with an ax-head in place of his left hand, slices up a Morty Dog as the mutt starts to tell yet another ax joke. The joke: "Did'ja hear the one about the wood cutter who fell in love? He said, 'Love is many a splintered thing.' Har-de-har har! Get it? Splintered = Splendored? Get the, heh-heh, point. You must not be sharp enough to understand the humor. Haw! Haw!" (Slam Bang 3 (1986))

Swak Swak Swak Swak Swak Swak: A Morty Dog gives Hitler an enthusiastic shave at a barber shop, finally resulting in Der Fuhrer's bald, clean shaven head bouncing away. He sings the following song to the tune of Lennon/McCartney's "Nowhere Man"

"First I had a master plan
I was going to save Deutschland
Now I find I am a man with no body.
No more Uber master race
All I'm left with is my face
I've forgot what it is like to pee.
Young man, please listen
Young man, the world was once mine to command ...
(Amused To No End (1986))

Swak! Swakity! Swak! Swak! Pink!: Prince Morty and Laetentes engage in a fencing match and Morty scores "A hit, a very palpable hit" when he touches his opponent on the nose with the tip of his sword (PINK!) (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 5 (1985))

Swakity!: See Swak! Swakity! Swak! Swak! Pink!

Swash: See Swish Swish Swash Swak Swik Blik Blook Jab!

Swat! Crack!: A Morty Dog SWATs a man who has his lower body half encased in a block on wheels that runs around the same circular track every day. The man falls over and the block CRACKs, giving him the use of his legs to go wheverever he wants at will. His response: "My legs! You released them! You heinous cur! [He runs away] No control! No control! Yaaargh!" (Starhead Presents 1 (1986))

Sweat! Sweat!: See Pant! Gasp! Puff! Pant! Puff! Pant! Sweat! Sweat!

Swik:
See Swish Swish Swash Swak Swik Blik Blook Jab!
See Toss! Zip! Thunk! Poink! Sniff! Snarf! Swik Swak Swik Swak Swik Jab!

Swipe!: See: Swoop! Swipe!

Swipe! Smash!: A guy with a square block where his legs used to be grabs a "Mort-o-Scope" from a Morty Dog ("Let me have that evil tool!" Swipe!) and throws it to the floor ("Our Sacred Book condemns such media as heresy!" Smash!) (Dog of Dawn, Dog of Dusk (1985))

Swish Swish Swash Swak Swik Blik Blook Jab!: Prince Morty and Laetentes engage in a fencing match, and Morty scores a big JAB! in his opponents mid-section, leaving a hole big enough to throw a baseball through. Morty: "Another hit. What say you?" Laetentes: "A touch, a touch, I do confess't." (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 5 (1985))

Swoop!: Prince Morty: "O all you host of Heaven! O Earth! What else? And shall I couple Hell? Oy vey!!! Hold cold, my heart ... And you my sinews, grow not instant old, but bear me stiffly up ... Remember thee? Ay thou poor ghost, whiles memory holds a seat in this distracted globe .. Remember thee? Yea, from the table of my memory I'll wipe away all trivial crud [SWOOPs his sword in the air as if wiping away all material crud] ... And thy commandment all alone shall live within the book and volume of my cranium frenzy unmixed with baser matter-- Yes, by Heaven!!!" (Tragedy of Morty, Prince of Denmarke 1 (1983))

Swoop! Munch!: A baby dogfish whale flies into a bar (SWOOP!) and swallows a piano-playing Morty Dog (MUNCH!) (Pipe Confirmation 1 (1985))

Swoop! Swipe!: A spy-fly SWOOPs down to the HMS Glut, a large liner lined with diners, and SWIPEs a toothpick as part of an evil plan. (Pacemaker Defect (1982))

Swoop! Swoop! Choke! Gag! Skuttle Skretch Skratch: The hands of a cartoonist attack and choke their owner, and then disengage themselves, skuttling away like crabs. (Ultra Klutz 12 (1987))

Swoop! Zip! Whirl! Zow! Jab! Zorp!: A Morty Dog uses his mind powers to direct a thought ray at Otto Manic. The thought is represented as a series of arrows, which coil in the air and makes various sounds, until they JAB Otto in his hindquarters, sending him up into the air, and back down (ZORP!) into Morty's cranium. (Scratchez 8 (1986))

Swoosh!:
See Chomp! Zip! Swoosh! Zow! Smak! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
See Pop Whoosh! Swoosh! Foosh! Sssssssss Fooossssssshhh

Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh!: The Ax Grinder attempts to slice up the ghost of a Morty Dog, but his ax-hand merely slices (SWOOSH x 3) empty air. (Slam Bang 3 (1986))