Months before the dryer had started frying everything, the new washer was acting up. It was making funny noises besides swish-swash-do-the-wash-proom-Prooom-proom-Prooom...

Ever pro-active, Trish called for service. I happened to be home when the Maytag repairman came a-knockin'.

He pried the thing open and checked it out. Then he turned it on to give it a whirl. After about five or ten minutes he figured it out.

"It's your transmission," he said.

You could've knocked me over with a feather. He couldn't have stunned me more if he'd said, "It's your alternator and your cataclysmic conversion." What do I know from washer workings? Lotta Nada, Mama.

Instead, he said, "I'll have to order the parts and come back." But it was all covered by the warranty.

Sometime shortly after, Trish brought home something that had caught her eye at the Oly Food co-op.

Instead of powdered or liquid laundry detergent, she had a box of Soap Nuts. I'm supposed to put a few of these nuts in a little drawstring bag and throw it in with the wash.

No problem.

Oh, I'm supposed to take the bag OUT of the wash BEFORE it goes into the dryer. Because otherwise they won't last that long. How long are they supposed to last? I can't tell. The box says 2-3 loads in cold water.

I keep heaving the little drawstring bag into the dryer with the rest of the wet sheets. It's the size of one of Orion's little socks. How am I supposed to keep track of this thing? I can't keep track of my own socks, and I can't tell when the nuts have lost their omph. I can't bear to compost them until they're completely impotent, so I just get in the habit of adding another nut every other load.

Hey, maybe I can just keep one in the pocket of every pair of pants.

Yes. I am happy to see you, and yes, it is a spare nut in my pants.

Q: do they actually work?

A: sure. probably. I can't tell. It's mostly the water and agitation that gets the dirt out. Here's the wikipedia entry that says the seeds of the Sapindus Mukorrosi are actually used in Ayruvedic medicine and are used medically as an expectorant, emetic, contraceptive, and for treatment of excessive salivation, epilepsy, chlorosis, and migraines.

Hey, sweety, my spare nut will cure that head ache AND it's a prophylactic. AND it will get the stain out of your blue dress!