Private messages, etc..

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Private messages, etc..

Submitted by security_six on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 10:17am.

Okay, this place is freaking weird when it comes to PM's... Half the time when I PM someone to discuss something off the general board, (usually on an inflamitory topic) I get some freaked out sounding reply from these people, reporting me to the docents, don't PM me again, etc... WTF?

Maybe I am missing something here. Is there a mode of thought that PM's are invasive? What gives? I know I have posted about this before, but it's still f-ing weird.

security_six's blog
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Dude.

Submitted by Rick on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 10:20am.

You carry a gun around town. Don't you suppose that might have something to do with it?

> It's OK to be nice. <
enpen's social contract

Huh?

Submitted by security_six on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 10:34am.

What on earth does that have to do with private messages? Am I somehow going to leap through the 'net and shoot someone? Seems you have no problem talking to me...

"It's okay to be armed"

security_six's social contract

Mmmm

Submitted by Ehver Green on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 10:44am.

Don't worry about it. Unless you were rude, crude, or otherwise an ass in your PM, it says more about the recipient than it does the person extending a hand.

This is about boundaries.

Submitted by Rob Richards on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 11:21am.

EG - Not trying to be rude at all, but you aren't aware of the whole story here. Saying "Don't worry about it." is really the wrong response.

S6- Since you brought up here in a public forum, I'll give you my two cents in a public forum. The fact that you carry a gun around has everything to do with why another OlyBlog member was freaked out by your angry, curse-word laden private message. I know you don't understand it, but guns conjure up a lot of strong feelings in people, if they have a history of being a victim of violence your words may be triggering PTSD. Regardless, it was not appropriate for you to take that heated conversation to a private message. Private messages are for communication, not for voicing things to people in ways that would be inappropriate on a thread.

Whole Story

Submitted by Ehver Green on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 11:23am.

Of course Rob, that's why you should have continued reading to the point where I said, "Unless you were rude..." =)

I did read the whole thing the first time.

Submitted by Rob Richards on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 11:27am.

Why is that such a common come-back on blogs? I read every post printed on this blog.

Anyhow, whatever.

I don't know, maybe you just

Submitted by Ehver Green on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 11:33am.

I don't know, maybe you just didn't realize I was saying don't worry about it unless you were a prick or otherwise an ass. So, there ya go.

This is an all ages venue

Submitted by Rob Richards on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 11:36am.

There are more appropriate words for a public website.

Wonderful

Submitted by Ehver Green on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 11:40am.

We have all kinds of blog police out today... Star 'em out for me, I agree.

Remember that next time you

Submitted by Merwyn Haskett on Fri, 01/18/2008 - 9:59am.

Remember that next time you use a certain word that ends in bag.

I was a bit rude

Submitted by security_six on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 5:48pm.

But no more hostile than the person I had PM'd... nor was the message laden with curse words. Strongest word I used was "ass"

"It's okay to be armed"

security_six's social contract

I couldn't answer your

Submitted by OperaGirl on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 11:24am.

I couldn't answer your question without seeing what you wrote in your PM. I have no problem getting msg's but I've never gotten one that I felt was threatening or offensive.

Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life. ~Ludwig van Beethoven

I gotta say it must depend on the content and context

Submitted by Guglielmo on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 11:52am.

of the PM. I don't think there is a differnet standard regarding PMs here...maybe just different people than you are used to.

There is a different standard here

Submitted by Norm on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 12:33pm.

Some people just think they are better than others. Pick your teeth up off the floor and move on. I've never understood it, but some of them even feel the need to belittle the poster on the blog afterward. Let's face it S6, you are bad because you carry a gun, you are evil, and that you let everyone see you do it makes you evil'er. Sorry dude :(

???

Submitted by OperaGirl on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 1:01pm.

You don't even know what it was that upset the other person so I'm not sure how you know that they just think they are better than everyone or what S6 wrote wasn't rude or abrasive.

Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life. ~Ludwig van Beethoven

You're right

Submitted by Norm on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 2:55pm.

Sorry folks, having a bad week, not that it excuses me being a jerk. The whole public belittling thing just irks me, and I assumed that's what the whole thread was about. Obviously there has been some branching out.

Personally, I only pm docents, friends, or people that I drink with. I don't remember having anyone tell me to not PM them anymore, but maybe I wasn't getting the message. I've had a few inflammatory PM's sent my way though, and S6 certainly isn't the only one that could be accused of this. Maybe we all need to be a little more courteous.

Also, unless you are talking about something personal, or talking about another blogger behind their back, your pm should be something you would feel comfortable posting in the public domain, and may end up being something your mother would read. Just because it's a PM doesn't mean you can flex your "bad" vocabulary or be outwardly nasty.

I do wonder what the heck you sent that made someone want to forward it to a docent though S6...that sounds pretty serious.

Bwwwaaahhhhaaa!!!!

Submitted by security_six on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 5:50pm.

Err sorry. My evil nature came out there for a moment :-) Excuse me while I go back to my fortified yacht and continue working with the caimans to overthrough Olympia...

"It's okay to be armed"

security_six's social contract

Bummed

Submitted by JstPlnOnry on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 2:01pm.

Gee S6, you never PM me with anything angry & vulgar. I'm feeling dissed! LOL! ;)

private message policy

Submitted by enpen on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 2:19pm.

Is there a mode of thought that PM's are invasive? What gives?

I think the mode of thought is probably similar to personal conversations face-to-face: your're free to try to engage somebody in the conversation and they're free to turn you down.

The pic of a pistol in your profile...

Submitted by The Original Yoda on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 2:42pm.

had something to do with it for me. Also, when I asked you not to PM me anymore, we were in a discussion about your carrying a gun and I felt somewhat threatened. Why PM me? Why not just continue posting comments?

Unless you don't care, I will not repeat why you PM'd me but I found it creepy. Also the way you told me that you were gonna PM me.

If you were PMing me jokes that would be one thing but in the middle of a thread on you carrying guns around town and you go "now I'm gonna PM you"...

Not my style but I won't publically berate you anymore. Sorry if I offended.

Well the image

Submitted by security_six on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 5:52pm.

Is the same as my user name... Also I dont' recall what I sent you, but I didn't mean to come across as creepy by saying I was going to PM you. On other boards it is a common means to impart some other info, or discuss a nuance of a topic without the thread going off course. Trust me I tell people "I'm going to PM you this or that" all the time, and vice versa. Seems there is a different PM ettiquite here on Olyblog than elsewhere, and it is largely unspoken.

"It's okay to be armed"

security_six's social contract

Another OlyBlog member (not Yoda)

Submitted by Rob Richards on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 2:59pm.

Messaged me after receiving a PM that they felt threatened by. All that really matters to me is that someone felt threatened by someone else. That is what's important here to me.

S6: Even if you don't understand why you made the other person feel threatened, I would hope that the PMing will stop. It seems that the debates are best kept on the threads.

Well then why

Submitted by security_six on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 5:53pm.

Bother having PM functions? Strikes me as odd then.

"It's okay to be armed"

security_six's social contract

I don't think your experience

Submitted by Guglielmo on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 5:55pm.

is an idiosyncratic one and not typical of PMing on Olyblog in general.

I really think there must be

Submitted by Norm on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 5:57pm.

I really think there must be more to this story than what I am reading. Everyone knows I'm into guns, yet I haven't had anyone return one of my PM's with a nasty note to the docents (that I'm aware of). I think a mystery is afoot gang!!

No comment

Submitted by OlyDowntowner on Fri, 01/18/2008 - 8:57am.

"Are you always an ass, or just about topics you don't understand? Ya know I women who carry guns in Oly as well. Are they trying to "be a man" too? Like I said, can I have the attitude when you're done with it?"

Took me a minute to get this

Submitted by Norm on Fri, 01/18/2008 - 6:16pm.

Not horrible, but certainly not an appropriate PM to send to someone if you don't know them very well. Thanks OD

I take it back -- I will comment

Submitted by OlyDowntowner on Sat, 01/19/2008 - 1:59pm.

Right, it's not horrible, but certainly not friendly. More importantly, I think it was disingenuous to start a thread about "What the heck is wrong with people who don't want to have private conversations?" when THAT is offered as a conversation opener. If some guy wearing a gun bumped me on the shoulder and called my mother fat, I wouldn't keep talking to him. Likewise, I do not care to have a private online argument with Security_Six, and I think the reasons are quite obvious.

OD

Submitted by security_six on Sat, 01/19/2008 - 2:07pm.

Given the inflamitory post you made, I was rather pissed off. It seemed you were willing to engage in certain lines of conversation. You caught me at just the right time of waking up to set me off, which stuck. It seemed you were willing to have a public online argument. I was willing to engage in that argument, but thought it would be more benficial to have it in private. In effect, it seemed to me you threw down the gauntlet.

At any rate, between rude and even polite PM's you are about the third or fourth person to freak out when I have PM'd them. It is a never ending source of head scratching for me.

"It's okay to be armed"

security_six's social contract

It looks like you've got a big social blind spot

Submitted by OlyDowntowner on Sat, 01/19/2008 - 2:25pm.

You're a hostile guy with a gun. A lot of people, myself included, may be somewhat reluctant to argue with you. Is this really so hard to understand?

Strong willed

Submitted by security_six on Sat, 01/19/2008 - 2:32pm.

Perhaps, and willing to argue definately, but I wouldn't say hostile. If I was hostile I can promise you I would not have the job I do right now. If I came across as hostile rather than argumentative I apologize. At any rate what does the fact I have a gun have to do with ELECTRONIC communications? I'm not even a good enough hacker to send a virus to an unsecured windows box, let alone send a bullet over wires.

"It's okay to be armed"

security_six's social contract

NOW I get it!

Submitted by OlyDowntowner on Sat, 01/19/2008 - 2:46pm.

Believe it or not, I actually thought you started this thread because you wanted to understand why people don't want to get into PMs with you. So I told you why. Other people told you why. But you didn't listen. Because that wasn't really what you wanted at all! I see now! You wanted to tell me how wrong I was! Got it.

Ok, break it up you two

Submitted by Norm on Sat, 01/19/2008 - 7:16pm.

You've both made your point, and this conversation is about dead. OD, I understand what you are saying, and I think others on the blog do as well. S6, I understand what you are saying, but honestly you can be a little intense at times, just keep that in mind ok? Peace be with you both.

For communication

Submitted by Rob Richards on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 5:57pm.

We primarily use the PM feature to communicate or network, not to continue threads.

When people Private Message

Submitted by The Fire Inside on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 3:29pm.

When people Private Message you, they steal a bit of your soul.

Kidding.

I thought every time someone PMed me

Submitted by Guglielmo on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 4:32pm.

Bill Gates gets a penny and that kid in the hospital gets a card.

...and you get a gift card

Submitted by OperaGirl on Thu, 01/17/2008 - 8:39pm.

...and you get a gift card to Macy's.

Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life. ~Ludwig van Beethoven

Janet and I have exchanged many PMs of late

Submitted by Anonymously Larry on Fri, 01/18/2008 - 12:56am.

But it is because we KNOW that cats read Olyblog, yet they do not have accounts, thus privately we can exchange the required information to make sure that said feline cannot plot the overthrow of our homes.

Smart move

Submitted by stevenl on Fri, 01/18/2008 - 9:51am.

Mine like to jump on the keyboard just when I'm imparting information they think will threaten their Master Plan.

My mom's cat

Submitted by security_six on Fri, 01/18/2008 - 9:55am.

Comes to the phone when I am talking to her. Clearly the cat wants to make sure I'm not up to something. Dang sneaky creatures. So cute. So fluffy. Natures ultimate predator, in a nice schizo package!

"It's okay to be armed"

security_six's social contract

I wish I were really that sure they weren't plotting

Submitted by jlw on Fri, 01/18/2008 - 9:55am.

They're saying something, in an decipherable code of hisses, growls, and tail twitches -- I think they may be signaling reinforcements.

Something I learned...

Submitted by Anonymously Larry on Fri, 01/18/2008 - 9:31am.

"NO" is a complete sentence.

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