I have chosen this name because it stands for Stop The Republican Takeover of our party. Yeah, I know it sounds like a joke, but I’m not laughing and you shouldn’t either. I’m writing for those of us serious enough about what is happening in our party in Olympia to be the true activists who dedicate the time to make a truly Progressive Vision happen, but clear-headed enough to know bullshit when you see it and are willing to call it like it is.
I’m using this forum because we own this town, we should own it completely, and I know the religious right-wingers are trying to stop us. A few of them will even read these posts and try to stop us, but if we are organized, focused, and dedicated enough – they will fail – we will win.
Elections are upon us and the recent primary results are done and over. I want to talk no bullshit politics – down and dirty, and with nothing to hide. Now, unless Kimmie Wineman decides to fuck with the results (think Bush 00), we basically know the situation and we need to get serious.
First, the overview locally is mostly good. With the one black spot of the Auditors office (WTF – only 30% for our guy????), we are shaping up for another good election year despite the rightFoxwing and their Republican lapdogs going crazy over Obama and his efforts to stem the Bush financial disaster – we can probably still hold on to things in our state and our county. Starting from the least important and working our way up:
Treasurer – Daddy’s Boy (also known as Tom Nelson Jr.) came out on top with a respectable showing in the primary, but you do the math – 40% is still a losing race. My first Republican In Democrat Disguise (RIDD, as in get rid of these bastards from our party) is Bill the Pill Pilkie. “Independent Dem Party” is just another term for “Pretending I’m not a Republican.” We allow bottom feeders like this in a race, and it screws up the time/space/reality for everyone else. Can’t we find a way to ban this guy from soiling our party name? I’d be happy with the “Pilkie Party.” Maybe next time he will run for the only position in the county that he hasn’t tried to run for – Governor. Noah was my pick, but he didn’t have a chance against Traitor Shawn Myers – the one who likes to turn on her boss, get fired, and then come back like we don’t remember? Now we are stuck with two bad options – Lacey Mayor Jr. or the Traitor. Take your pick. They both suck. My prediction – either way we lose, so start planning for 2014 and Noah – save those signs! We’ll help you put them up and then some.
Assessor – New Kid on the Block Morgan managed to accidentally fall into first place in the primary. My spies in the right wingnut circles (yeah, that is right you fuckers – two can play this game) tell me nobody knows who this guy is and he has zero support – no real endorsements. Supposedly he went to Columbia in New York (just like Obama), but we should check this out – I doubt it. More likely he is just another random guy listening to FatBoy Rush / Glen the Becknut/ and all the other rightwing radio crazies and thinks he can pretend to be a normal person. I heard him speak once and I’m not impressed. Fortunately, a real D came out on top of my second RIDD of this post – Dennis Re-Pulsipher. Here this guy manages to have the greasy, slimy ability to get the D endorsement (?!?) – too many people loyal to Patricia when she isn’t playing golf in Arizona – we need to watch who endorses who. He donated money to the ultimate local traitor “Dump the O’Sullivan” and even was a Republican PCO, and they still let this guy run-WTF? Frankly, it was close, and a little scary that this race was almost another loser/loser event between one R from nowhere and one RIDD who sucks. It appears that Drew played a good old-school GOTV game and managed to come out ahead. While the New Kid on the Block tries to figure out how to spell “Assessor” with his new-found fame, we can feel pretty good that Drew will easily carry this spot – he has a good team behind him. He has all the politico/labor/anybody who matters endorsements. Captain Morgan can run around in the sticks putting signs in cow pastures – nobody will even remember his name in 6 months. Just don’t let any RIDDs on your team Drew, and all will be good.
Auditor – The lone elected Republican in our county. The one who controls our elections. The Sam Reed bitch-in-training. She gets 70% in Thurston? Okay, Ric, time to get your game on. Stop playing patty-cake. To you big-donors out there – get out the checkbook. Here is one we need to win. He needs cash. He can do it. We need to take the courthouse back, and this is the path to total domination. The primary was just a test – it shows we need to work harder. Look at some of the precincts – we can work those harder. I’m nervous about this one, and I’m a little bothered that we could only find one candidate to run here. My vote is still solid D here, but it will take some real work.
Commissioner – The senile surveyor was still in the wilderness last week when the votes were counted, but who cares, since he is going back for what will surely be another ass-kicking round two this time against Karen. She defended this seat ably last year, and I don’t need to waste time typing about this one too much. Her challenger – Patty Bee, the senile surveyor – is just out to lunch and asleep at the wheel. I doubt he will even notice when the election happens. These are the type of Republican candidates I like – they remind me why I am a D. Prediction: Karen by another landslide.
Sherriff – Okay, now this one is actually interesting. Mealy’s campaign is going along just fine, then they get the Lone Ranger guy – Snaza the Snooze – to jump in the race. I can’t believe this guy is a cop, because he sounds like a gay cowboy – Brokeback Mountain? – attempting to pretend he is man enough to do this job. He looks the part, but Mealy is obviously the only pick in this race. But, BUT, there are TWO RIDDs in this race, and this is where I start to sniff the stink of a conspiracy. First, there is RIDD Snaza the Snooze – everyone knows he is just a Republican trying to run away from the piss-poor brand name that Bush has made the Republicans to be – Independent my ass. The second RIDD is a whole lot worse. Mealy’s campaign sidekick is Joyce the Voice Willms. Insiders tell me she is not just a Republican in Disquise, but she is a Republican in the Open screwing up an easy-win for the Mealy campaign. Let’s think this out – you want to win as the first woman (let alone Democrat woman) as Thurston County sheriff – ever. You look around at all the effective, capable campaign managers with a real “D” after their name. Then you pick Joyce? Joyce who runs Gary Alexander, Richard DeBolt, Gary Edwards, and other Republican campaigns? Joyce, who conveniently, donates money to another RIDD – Repulispher (check it out in the PDC you doubters). Joyce, who I believe is the youngest member in the blue-haired brigade called the Thurston County Womans Republicans club (I think they meet at Cabela’s for lunch after church on Sundays). Joyce, who motivates the stupidest, most unintelligent hit piece on Snaza the Snooze and finally wakes him up from his slumber? Conveniently, helping to bring up Joe Hyer’s name in the process – a name that really turns on the rabid right-whiners in this county to actually show up and vote? I doubt this was an accident, and the only reason this race is close is because of Joyce the Voice. Without her and her waste of funds, talent, and time – Mealy would be ahead by a mile. I’m not sure if this is salvageable, and I don’t know if Mealy is the best one we should have run for this position, but we need to get behind her now that she is our only option. (Before anyone attacks me of being anti-Joe, just think about it – he needs to lie low for a while until this conspiracy crap blows over. He was set up by Jeff the Kingplayer. We all know this. He’ll be back and stronger than ever, but we need to wait until the time is right – lie low Joe. We’ll have your back when you are ready to play again.).
22nd – Okay, everyone knew Sam Hunt was going to win. Sure, I’ve got my problems and issues with the Hunt, but at least he kicked out that other RIDD – Kover. It was a good move to get Ward into the race just to keep me from having to read Kovers cronies whining on the Oly Blog. I doubt Ward is even a real person, which just makes me laugh all the harder. Suck on that Kover!!!! Now we can finally enjoy the peace.
22nd – Obviously, this was a hard fought race. I’m a Reykdal fan, but I could have gone with any one of the top few candidates and been happy. This is what an intramural primary is all about. Work it out like grownups, shake hands when it is over, then go dance on the grave of the sacrificial lamb – what was his name? running as the “R” No race there. 50% of our district could take a trip to Europe and Reykdal would still win.
Now, for all you guys who fought it out in the trenches. Time to get serious, and this is why I am really writing this post:
First, we are obviously being infiltrated by RIDDs. The Republican Teabaggers are a dying breed – at least around here. I’m sure they lurk around out in the county taking meth. But, they are a sneaky bunch, and they clearly have a new tactic. Infiltration. I’d be suspicious of any volunteers on your campaign who you can’t vet 100%. Think about it – do they really put up those signs or are the signs going into the dumpster. Are they really dropping literature, or is the literature going into the trash? Do they go to the important meetings, but shirk the real work? Do they seem to linger wearing their “Evergreen” sweatshirt, but are really trying to pass on nuggets of campaign value? Now, I doubt Snaza can read the manual for his gun, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have spies -even high-placed spies- in Mealy’s campaign. Fuck knows, we’ve done this to them for years. I am certain they are doing it to us. Right now. They may not be very effective, but I see efforts that they are trying. I also hear rumors from my spies in their camp. Something smells wrong, and I’ll keep you posted as I find out more. When you smell the stink of a Teabagger – tell them to move on – go volunteer for the senile surveyor or something. Or, you can always stick them on a street corner in Timbuk2 waving signs for nobody. That works well.
Secondly, get out there and start working for Heck and Patty. Listen, you may have problems with Heck, but he is clearly the best option in that race against Sarah Palin Jr. He has to pretend to be “conservative” at times to get the Hicks for Heck vote (did you see his go-army parade entry in some of the more hick-towns? – does that shit really work?), but in the end he will vote the way we want him to vote. Murray just needs more help to crush the Rossi once and for all. Even Jason can die, we just have to put him down one final time – although you never know with zombies like Rossi.
More to come and a lot more detail…Post your comments and your opinions. No need to agree, but we do need to start cleaning our own closets…