I have attended this introductory NVC course two or three times now, and I have found it worthwhile each time. NVC is like learning a new language; it's necessary to practice. Even having taken the class before, I have found it helpful to do tune-ups every now and then.
Peace and Love, Berd
Lincoln School 213 21st Ave SE, Olympia, WA 98501
Date and Time:
Wed, Apr 01, 2009 6:45 PM to 9:00 PM
No charge, donations appreciated
The language we use affects how we think which in turn affects how we feel and act. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg has developed a simple yet radical communication process, Nonviolent Communication(sm), aka NVC(sm), with the potential for changing how others hear and respond to us (without defensiveness or blame) and how we view others and ourselves (without blame, shame or criticism). This workshop offers instruction, discussion, experiential learning, and the opportunity for you to decide if this process fits for you.
"We judge others by their outsides; we judge ourselves by our insides. Therefore, we feel minsunderstood when others see our outsides and we want them to understand our insides." Virginia Satir
Perceive others and yourself as you would have others perceive you.
Who is it for?
Registration and deposit info:
Lincoln Elementary School 213 21st Ave SE Olympia, WA 98501
Date and Time:
Mon, Feb 02, 2009 6:45 PM to 9:00 PM
No fee, donations appreciated
The language we use affects how we think which in turn affects how we feel and act. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg has developed a radical communication process, Nonviolent Communication(sm), aka NVC, with the potential for changing how others hear and respond to us (without defensiveness or blame) and how we view others and ourselves (without blame, shame or criticism). This workshop offers instruction, discussion, experiential learning, and the opportunity for you to decide if this process fits for you.
Join us if you would like some immediately usable tools for resolving conflicts, reducing criticism, defensiveness, blame, shame, misunderstanding and violence, and for increasing respect and hope in your everyday life and in the world.
As a side conversation to the illuminating occurrence of Councilmember Kingsbury's Public Comment Facebooking session, I have thought about my own handling of such racist, derogatory and hurtful comments as the ones Moses brings to the Council.
First, instead of gaveling - interrupt him at first mention. As politely as possible, again (importantly) - at first mention of a racist or derogatory term - interrupt him and ask him whether or not he knows that the term in question, for example, "mulatto," is offensive, derogatory and hurtful.
If he says no - that is - that he did not know the term is derogatory, then ask him to refrain from using it.
If he says yes - that he is aware of the racist and derogatory nature of the term, then ask him if he knows that the use of such a term is hurtful and harmful. Then inform, clearly, him of the hurtful nature of his commentary.
Ask him if he intends to put others down. If no, ask for an apology, and that he refrain from doing it anymore. If yes, then ask him why. Show him that someone, at least, cares about him. - That may be what he really needs. Maybe he is just horribly lonely, and sick, and doesn't know positive ways to reach out to people.
I am not a psychologist, but maybe I'll even venture to make a diagnosis.
Maybe Moses is sick - maybe he is wounded. Maybe he is injured, hurt by society. It's obvious that he needs attention. Maybe people can help him to find a positive, mutually beneficial, way to get that attention. As humans, we (almost all of us) need attention.
This society could benefit from a heaping dose of nonviolent communication. City Council would be a great place to start.
So that's a sort of an along the lines picture of how I would intend to handle a situation as it presented itself.
I want to share some wisdom that was recently shared with me. A friend printed up a couple cards, and the information that they contain really resonates deeply with me. One is some wisdom from Marshall Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication. The other is wisdom from Buddhadasa, a Thai monk.
By the way, there are nonviolent communication courses being offered at locations throughout the Puget Sound region. Northwest Compassionate Communication
Here's the card on Buddhadasa, according to my transcription:
Join NVC trainer Liv Monroe for her next fun and engaging Introduction to Nonviolent Communication. Learn usable skills to reduce criticism, blame, defensiveness.... gain proficiency in communicating honestly, in connecting with your own and other's real feelings and needs, and in asking for what you want.for more information about nonviolent communication: Center for Nonviolent Communication
Monday, June 2, 6:45 to 9 PM, at the Lincoln Elementary School cafeteria, 213 21st Ave. SE, Olympia. For info, call Liv at 357-4503. No charge but donations are appreciated.
One of our exercises made me think of how we've been trying to stay productive, constructive and positive in our communications and dialogue here. The game is called Yes, And. Two volunteers start - they are given a location by someone in the audience. One participant takes the initiative and starts talking. The other player responds "Yes, and...", continuing the train of thought. The first player continues "Yes, and..." and it keeps on going until either it's played its course or the instructor moves it along.
Tammy and I were together for one; someone suggested a hair salon for our location. Tammy said the first line:
T: Okay sir, have a seat and we'll get started. First we need to shampoo your hair.
M: Yes, and be sure to use the Industrial Shampoo, this is my first shower all year!
T:Yesss, and I'll just put these gloves on first. [Her change in tone was allowable, she still said the obligatory "Yes, and..."]
M: Yes, and you'll want to be gentle, my hair's been falling out by the handful these past few months.
T: Yes, and I think I'll get the broom ready before we start.
M: Yes, and you'll want a big wastebin.
Now of course in an Improv setting it's going to get silly, perhaps exaggerated, but when the instructor explained that the purpose of "Yes, and..." was for affirmation and moving it along I realized it could be sound advice for Olyblog.