12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from the dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

Dark Command / directed by Raoul Walsh (1940, VHS). John Wayne, Claire Trevor, Roy Rogers, Gabby Hayes, Walter Pidgeon, Marjorie Main, Joe Sawyer, Stanley Blystone (uncredited), Yakima Canutt (uncredited). A movie made on the eve of the United States entry into WWII and set on the eve of the Civil War. With Bloody Kansas as the stage, this is a thinly disguised and inaccurate depiction of how Quantrill's Raiders terrorized the prairies. Although not as blatantly pro-slave holding culture as another 1940 Western, Santa Fe Trail, there does seem to be an effort to appease Southern audiences and include them in the definition of "American"-- after all, we're all going to need each other when we get into this war in Europe and the Pacific. John Wayne is the honest and good Big Galoot, Walter Pidgeon the over-educated and slick bad guy. A very young Roy Rogers has long hair and shouts out a silly "Yip!" from time to time. My copy has been colorized, and this is a case where it enhanced the film. There are guns galore. Looks like Republic Pictures sunk more bucks into their production budget than usual for this work.

12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from the dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

"Broken Toe" (I Married Joan) / directed by Ezra Stone (1953, VHS). Joan Davis, Jim Backus, Geraldine Carr. This episode was originally filmed in the Jurassic Period of television. The setting was mostly in a hospital, which was a very frightening place to be in 1953. For a few brief seconds a married couple can be seen in the same bed, probably a first for TV viewers. Best scene: in an effort to be closer to her hospitalized husband, Joan attempts to check into the facility as if she was getting a motel room. By the time Joan Davis was my age, she was dead as the result of a heart attack. And that's too young. This series had a brief revival in the early 1980s through CBN reruns (where I first saw this series), but she deserves more recognition as for being the warm and likable comedienne that she was.

12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from the dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

Richard III / directed by Richard Loncraine (1995, VHS). Ian McKellen, Annette Bening, Jim Broadbent, Robert Downey Jr., Nigel Hawthorne, Kristin Scott Thomas, John Wood, Maggie Smith, Jim Carter, Edward Hardwicke, Tim McInnerny, Bill Paterson, Denis Lill, Dominic West. All my fellow buddies of the Bard need to see this abridged and classy interpretation of a play that, until I saw this film, never really grabbed me. The title character always seems so one-dimensional and the supporting folks more complex as they grappled with their willingness to enable. Set in the UK in the 1930s, the producers imagine a military uniformed Richard taking over the throne under the cloud of fascism. McKellen's natural delivery of Willy's language gives it life and music. A wonderful cast. The only person missing was Freddie Jones, and how they managed to skirt the English law requiring him to be in every film production is beyond me. The fine acting was framed by a director who had a good eye for well composed shots. Also, some of the best lines were not spoken, but given in body language. Listen carefully to the words of the song during the Big Band music dance scene at the opening and you'll hear Marlowe's "Come live with me and be my love ..."

12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from the dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from the dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

Gold / directed by Peter R. Hunt (1974, DVD). Roger Moore, Susannah York, Ray Milland, Bradford Dillman, John Gielgud. Sometimes I wonder how we survived the cheesey 1970s. Set in a South African gold mine, this confusing tale of corporate intrigue and personal politics might be interesting if you are into geology or mining engineering, but for the rest of us this is very slow. In fact, the only speedy action in this story is that it becomes quite boring very fast. The direction here was not good-- a strong cast was wasted. Roger Moore, who I must confess was my favorite Bond (hey, Shemp was my favorite Stooge, too. So I march to a different drummer. Big deal), has great comedic talents that work well even in serious drama. But his skills were squandered here. Gielgud as a villain was nice casting. Too bad Hunt didn't know what to do with him. Dillman had a chance to really act a little bit in spite of the production, and his performance presents us with the most complex of the characters in this work. In the end he gets chased around by a sociopath in a Rolls Royce. Nice. Although the still existing (1974) Apartheid policy is not directly addressed, Moore does slip in some two-fisted protests to that odious institution. Children get killed in this film and I don't like films where children get killed-- I wouldn't have liked this movie anyway, but that really nailed it down for me.

12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from the dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

Don't Misbehave Indian Brave / directed by Eddie Bernds, Eddie Rehberg, Sam Cornell, Dave Detiege (1965/66, DVD). Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Joe DeRita. A series of lame cartoons with the Three Stooges voicing their own animated selves had a short-lived career. The aging Stooges themselves appeared on film to introduce and conclude the cartoons, woefully with little violence or sound effects. This particular episode can only be called just. plain. bad. as the cartoon Stooges play the roles of Native Americans attempting to stop a wagon train. Offensive and shoddy.

12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from the dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

"The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom" (Monty Python's Flying Circus ; v. 6, episode 11) / directed by Ian MacNaughton (1969, VHS). Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Carol Cleveland. Bathroom jokes, Mary Bignall's Wonderful Jump in 1964, The World of History-- 1348 Black Death, Undertaker Jokes, Inspector Tiger and Lookout of the Yard and Constable There'samanbehindyou, Jimmy Buzzard on English Football, Interesting People, The World of History-- Social Legislation in the 18th Century, Famous Battles. This episode has more complex interweaving of skits than usual, which would be interesting except for the fact the material is not really the Python's best work. We do, however, have a rare glimpse of Terry Gilliam in drag in the final scenes.

12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

"Cassandra" (Red Dwarf) / directed by Ed Bye (1999, VHS off-air). Chris Barrie, Craig Charles, Danny John-Jules, Robert Llewellyn, Chloë Annett, Norman Lovett, Geraldine McEwan, Mac McDonald, Graham McTavish, Jake Wood, Shend. In Greek mythology Cassandra had the power of prophecy but was cursed by the fact no one would believe her. In fact, the term "Cassandra Warning" has even been used here on OlyBlog on occasion. In Red Dwarf, Cassandra is a computer with 100% prophetic accuracy, and became so annoying her keepers banished her to languish at the bottom a moon sea. Geraldine McEwan met a special challenge in acting the title role due to the fact she had to emote purely from facial expression since she was filmed from only the neck up, which gave her chance to deliver some pretty heady lines (nyuk, nyuk, nyuk). Too bad she didn't get a chance to share dialogue with Norman Lovett's Holly. This episode has an interesting mixture of "guy humor" with some sophisticated concepts, like free will vs. determinism. At one point in conversation with Cassandra, Lister announces his allegiance to the mainstream, romantic view of free will: "If the future's all worked out, horoscopes and all that stuff, it means we're not responsible for anything we do. It means we're just actors sayin' lines in a script that's been written by somebody else. I don't want to believe that. I want to believe I'm in charge of me own life, me own destiny ... Tomorrow's a new day, a fresh page in a book that's not been written yet. What happens in the future is up to me, not some predetermined destiny smeg." No sooner does he utter these stirring lines when he is proven totally wrong. I love it.

12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

A Close Shave / directed by Nick Park (1995, VHS). Peter Sallis (voice), Anne Reid (voice). Another entry in the very excellent stop-action animated series starring inventor Wallace and his silent but expressive dog Gromit. This episode has got it all: romance, action, mystery, comedy, science fiction, sheep liberation, a prison break. Kids should love this, and Park has packed in quite a number of subtle jokes that will appeal to adults as well. Great work by a master.

12 mini-reviews for the short attention span, taken from dark corners of stevenl's video vault:

Cataloging Sound Recordings on WLN (1992, VHS). Bob Richart, Steve Willis (Host). Almost an hour and half of pure excitement as catalog librarians discuss the details of data entry into a bibliographic utility that is now extinct. WLN was originally an acronym for the Washington Library Network, then it became the Western Library Network, and finally it just stood for "WLN." The utility was initially a division of the State Library, but by 1990 had separated from the government sector and became a private nonprofit based in Lacey. At the end of the decade it had been gobbled up by Darth Vader = OCLC. Many examples of bad versions of Beatle songs covered by other artists are used as case studies. Bob Richart rolls with whatever bizarre question he gets with considerable calm and self-assurance.