Obama Picks Bill Ayers as Secretary of Defense!
by Susie Day
(PU) Barack Hussein Obama, newly elected President of the People's Republic of America, today announced his choice of William Ayers, a former leader of the 70s militant antiwar group, the Weather Underground, for U.S. Secretary of Defense. The appointment allays concerns of many peace movement progressives who had feared that Defense Secretary Robert Gates, overseer of the military surge in Iraq, would be asked to stay on.
"Man, oh, man -- socialism has finally come to America!" sobbed Mr. Ayers, when reached by telephone. "I've waited so long -- now I'll show them who's washed up!"
Mr. Ayers was referring to attacks by John McCain's presidential campaign, which alleged that Barack Obama harbored some sort of nefarious, anti-American ties to the 63-year-old Ayers, whose organization in the 1970s bombed government sites and staged confrontational rallies to stop America's war in Vietnam. As Mr. McCain became more desperate for support, his insinuations of an Ayers conspiracy became increasingly common. The final presidential debate contains a McCain reference to Mr. Ayers as a "washed-up terrorist."
Bill Ayers is, in fact, an elementary education theorist who has spent his last few decades above ground, infiltrating the University of Illinois at Chicago as a Distinguished Professor of Education and Senior University Scholar. In 1997, he won Chicago's Citizen of the Year award for his work on a public school reform project. Today, he says his past activism would make him the perfect advisor to the President in matters of "armed struggle."