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Submitted by stevenl on Sat, 09/22/2007 - 5:38pm.

Lucky Charms are not "magically" delicious.

»

People, do not listen to this man!

Next, of course, he will try to convince you that Frosted Flakes aren't Grrrrrreat, that you can get enough (and maybe even too much) Super Golden Crisp, that M&Ms melt in your hands, that pork isn't really a white meat at all, that maybe we're not lovin' it... all vicious lies that our brave admen have been tirelessly countering for years. Don't undo billions of dollars' worth of hard, thankless public service announcements. Do not listen to this cynical wretch!
»

That Big Mac song lies. It's

That Big Mac song lies. It's not on a sesame seed bun!

Catholic baiting is the anti-Semitism of the liberals.
Peter Viereck, Yale Professor

»

What IS

filled with delicious goodness then?
»

Marmite

»

Merwyn

You deserve a break today.

http://thurstonblog.blogspot.com/

»

maybe you should give him a break....

...and break him off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar.
»

stop it

stop it
»

Who made you the boss of everybody

Mr. Stop it.
»

Mythra

Mythra said I could be the boss of everybody. So there!
»

I don't care if it's packed

I don't care if it's packed with peanuts, Snickers never satisfies me. And what if the impressionable television viewer was allergic to nuts? How insensitive can Madison Avenue be?

Catholic baiting is the anti-Semitism of the liberals.
Peter Viereck, Yale Professor

»

Ingredients for life

Time was, I was really weak-minded and susceptible to advertising and peer pressure...

...but I've come a long way, baby. I'm in absolut flavor country, and it's the real thing. Because I'm worth it, I love the skin I'm in and I'm raising the bar to savor the moments of my life. I can be fair and balanced, and if you give me 22 minutes I can cover the earth. Can you hear me now? I don't have to be rich, just smart. I am a quicker picker-upper, I care enough to send the very best, and I'm inspired by babies. It's a totally organic experience, and experience is everything. If I'm a king, I'm a hillbilly. I'm taking it to the max. (this is where it gets good.)

It's more than the headlines. We love having you here. Be all you can be, be e*traordinary, express yourself, broadcast yourself! Your potential is our passion, and if we would like to play, we put you in the game. It's good to play together. What do you have to say? You are now free to move about the country. Now, isn't that better? It's an American revolution that's built for the road ahead, and you were born to perform! We build excitement, we keep you moving, cause we're drivers too. 

Maybe I'm born with it, but if you can't tell, why should I? 

»

Meta Hogan, she has either

Meta Hogan, she has either tapped into the spirit of George Carlin, or was him in a past life.
»

You've convinced me. I'm

You've convinced me. I'm voting Meta Hogan for mayor!

Catholic baiting is the anti-Semitism of the liberals.
Peter Viereck, Yale Professor

»

Wow

That is beautiful. Seriously. I think you should try to get it published, after you get yourself some legal representation to cope with the mountain of copyright lawsuits.

»

A beer tonight to anyone who

A beer tonight to anyone who can name the companies represented in those paragraphs. Start with the ones you know off-hand, just for the fun of it, then move on to research if you want to.
»

Sometimes you all make me

Sometimes you all make me feel like a nut...but sometimes you don't. 

"Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing."

»

I've got an Excedrin headache

»

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