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Submitted by stevenl on Sun, 03/19/2006 - 9:13am.
As you might have figured out by now, I was an avid reader of comic books during my formative years. One particular subculture of characters I enjoyed in the 1960s were the Bizarros, part of the Superman family. They looked like they had been badly sculpted out of white rock. Everything they said was the opposite of how we understood it. For example, instead of saying, "I love you," a Bizarro would express the same feeling with, "Me hate you."

 

The Bizarros had Superman counterparts in their world. There was a Bizarro Lois Lane, Bizarro Jimmy Olson, etc. A little known fact about Matt Groening, the cartoonist behind the Simpsons, is that he has been fascinated by Bizarro Perry White for decades. Go ahead, ask him about it.

Many years ago a fellow in Florida by the name of Bob Moulton sent me a bibliographic chronology of Bizarro appearances, starting from Superboy #68 in 1958. While soaking in this scholarly work, I noticed an eerie fact-- In 52 appearances between 1958-1990, the Bizarros never once saw print during the administration of Richard Nixon! Between World's Finest #181 (Dec. 1968) and Superman Family #166 (Sept. 1974) the Bizarros were nowhere to be seen. Nixon served from Jan. 1969 to Aug. 1974.

So let us say you have been made aware of this "coincidence" and while you are waiting at an airport you are mulling this Bizarro/Nixon thing over. Slowly you become aware of two men in dark suits, short haircuts, and sunglasses sitting behind you and talking in what they think are confidential tones. You can make out some of their words, not meaning to eavesdrop, but you get hooked as you hear, "Bizarro Perry White ... Watergate ... Deep Throat ... Kryptonite ... Fortress of Solitude ... Nixon in stasis ... " You follow them as they leave and notice they board Air Force One, which happens to be there at the moment with no fanfare.

With the clues at hand, what would your next move be?

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